A Brief History of History
Lyrics
Jordan Cohen Lucas Crandles Clyde Lawrence Timothy Nash
"A Brief History of History" is a song from the episode of the same name , in which Yakko explains the history of the entire world in a quick song.
It could be considered a successor to the cancelled song "The Geologic Clock ."
Description [ ]
A pair of aliens crash land in the water tower and demand to know more about "everything". Yakko sings them a song detailing the history of the earth, which includes the Big Bang, dinosaurs, a brief look at the Industrial Revolution, and modern-day affairs. Throughout the song, CGI animation is utilized.
Lyrics [ ]
Yakko Warner :
Aaaaaaat first there was nothingness, then some unknown process
Lead to a great big explosion
The universe grew from a subatomic stew
Of quarks, gluons, plasmas, and bosons
Then gas and dust settled on hot cores of metal
And one of these cores was called Earth
It was covered with goop, a primordial soup
From which all of Earth's life was then birthed
At first, single cells , some swam or grew shells
Still others evolved to hunt prey
Some hid in the sand, some crawled onto land
So life, well, life found a way ...
Ian Malcolm :
Uh, we already did this bit.
Uh huh, in the pilot .
Mm‐hmm.
Yakko:
There were mosses and gymnosperms , seven-foot-long earthworms
Huge dragonflies ruled the sky
Amphibians , cephalopods , pedallers both bi- and quad-
Reptiles started to fly
We had lizards grow big and small, mammals not big at all
Sharks were the size of a house
Then, one little meteor killed all the dinosaurs
So, we evolved from a mouse
8000 BC, Creation Theory
Would dictate the song should start here
Though most of our herd agree it's absurd
Some teach it in place of Shakespeare ...
Let's skip evolution , there're two revolutions
Agriculture took us to towns
Humans learned to grow wheat, got all fat, loved to eat
Stopped walking and just settled down
Industrial next, its major effect
To take us from towns to the city
We mined coals and built trains, machines plowed our grains
And we treated the workers real shi-
Alien :
How many more of your Earth seconds is this going to take?
Yakko:
Well‐timed interruption!
Almost there, I promise!
Yakko:
We recorded some tunes, put a man on the moon
Fought more wars than we care to recount
Sent the Phoenix to Mars , built electric cars
And polluted a shocking amount
Skipping to now, we survived, not sure how
It's getting real hard to keep track...
There's Wikipedia , smartphones , tablets , unmanned drones
Pick-your-own genomes , ride-sharing , sheep clones
Earthquakes and cyclones , valleys of Silicone
Gluten-free vegan scones, temperature milestones
Keystones and sword thrones , high-interest payday loans
Cyclists' testosterone, and everything Musk owns
But at least now us Warners are baaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
We are back, baby!
Trivia [ ]
The portrait that appears when Yakko sings "Creation Theory" is a spoof of The Creation of Adam , a painting by Michelangelo that is featured on the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel .
When Yakko sings the line "some teach it in place of Shakespeare," he temporarily reprises the Shakespearian outfit he wore in the season 1 segment "Gift Rapper ".
Audio [ ]
Gallery [ ]
Animaniacs (1993-1998)
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot
Animaniacs Theme Song • The Monkey Song • Yakko's World • Support the Scouts • The Acme Song • Yes, Brothers Warner We • I am the Evil Pirate Captain Mel • We Should Run and We Should Flee • I Am the Very Model of a Cartoon Individual • Yakko's Universe • Come See Us • The Studio Shrink • The Etiquette Song • Flipper Parody • What Are We? • You Can't Catch Us • Piano Rag • The Warner's Lot Song • The Candyman's Swell • Llama Llama Llama • Let the Anvils Ring (Prologue) • Anvilania's National Anthem • Let the Anvils Ring • In Dear Old Anvilania • Musical Chairs • This Means War(ners) • My Old Anvilanian Home • War Report Finale • Frere Warner • The Hills are Quite Full • Three Little Maids • Falderal • Our First Day of School • Frizzy Cola • We'll Clean Your Flue for You • Writin' Hooey • Call Dr. Yakko • The Ending • Wakko's America • Lincoln's Introduction • Lanky and Cranky • Be Careful What You Eat • We Haven't Got a Clue • Camelot • Early in the Morning • You're in Hades Now • Whiny Protest Song from the 60s • Purgatory, Here We Come • O Silly Mio • Planets Song • You'll Never Laugh Alone • Nice and Chubby Baby • Animaniacs Stew • We've Been Mixing Up the Scripts • We Found This Old Computer • We're the Musketeers • The King's Lullaby • Sam 'N' Ella's • In the Mall • The Senses Song • Mary Tyler Dot Song • Video Revue • The Goodbye Song • Ravioli, Pepperoni • The Warner Waiter Two • We Were Sitting Here Before You • Lake Titicaca • Many Years Ago • Mean Old Man • Lots to See • Little Drummer Warners • Slippin' on the Ice • Branimaniacs • Old MacDonald Had a Farm • Camptown Races • Chopsticks • I'm Cute • The Crickets and the Froggies • Dot's Quiet Time • Schnitzelbank • On the Home Front We're Marching Along • Feelings • Baa Baa Black Sheep • John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt • Jimmy Crack Corn • Oh My Darling, Clementine • Old MacDonald Had a Farm (Slackmer) • London Bridge Is Falling Down • Pop Goes The Weasel • This Old Man • Baloney and Kids Theme • The Imagine Song • The Anvil Song • Baloney's Goodbye Song • Digg'd i' the Dark • Oh, Lady! • Introducing the Warners • Buddy's Song • Make a Gookie • Hurtin' Our Feet • Romp • The Hunk from Upumema • I'm Mad • Serendipity • Super Strong Warner Siblings • A Quake! A Quake! • Variety Speak • Twelve Days Of Christmas • U.N. Me • Running From Our Fans • They Want To Laugh • The Surprises in Life • All The Words in the English Language • The Presidents Song • Multiplication • Burbank • What Do You Do With Children Like Us Warners? • Poison Oak • When I Am Afraid • Grumpy Chicken • Eat All Your Oatmeal • The Cats of Phantom Boulevard • Dental Avenue • Take a Nap Instead • Snack Time • Dough, Some Cash • Don't Shout at Us, Mr. Webby • Hello Googi • Beware the Big Bad Wolf • Googily Goop • The Snugglers Theme • The Angry Song • Wakko's Two Note Song • Panama Canal • Hello Nurse • The Ballad of Magellan • At the Big Wrap Party Tonight • Cutie and the Beast • That's Dot • Be a Pest • Deck the Halls • Noel • Is Wakkoum a Warrior? • Just the Same Old Heroine • John Smith and Company • Ice Cream • Bars of Gold are Forever • When You're Traveling from Nantucket • You Can't Sing When I Sing • Obese Orson • Night Traveler • Bones in the Body • Macadamia Nut • We Won't Ever Leave • The Warner Bunch • Here Comes Attila • Magic Guys • We're On Our Way to Go See Mr. Plotz • You Gotta Do the Schmooze • There's Only One of You • Variety Speak (HFNH) • Jam-A-Lot • L.A. Dot • It's New Year's Eve • We're On Our Way to Go See Mr. Plotz (Version 2)
Pinky and the Brain
Pinky and the Brain Theme • I'm a Little Teapot • My Empty Hollow Head • Telephone Repairman • King of the World • Play Fish With Me • Pinky's Minstrel Songs • Johnny Badnote's Song
Slappy Squirrel
Slappy Squirrel Theme • The Wonderful World of Walnuts • Bumbie the Dearest Deer • The Little Old Lady (from Pasadena) • The Slapper • Daniel Boone • Going up the Country • What Am I Singing For? • Crackers and Cheese • Would You Still Cheer? • Can You Hear Me? • Slappy's Polka • Star-Spangled Banner • It's Halloween • La donna è mobile • Food Song • Santa Lucia • Ride of the Valkyries • Slippin' on the Ice • Hall of Fame • Take Me Out to the Ball Game • Slappy Squirrel Theme (Three Tenors Version) • Rocket Rat
Goodfeathers
Goodfeathers Theme • Goodfeathers Song • Carloota • Scorsese's Head • I Feel Feathery • There's a Perch For You • Scorsese • Egg-hatcher, Egg-hatcher • If I Were the Godpigeon • Coo Coo Quack • Sasha, Squit • Do You Want Me? • Regis Philbin • Coo
Rita and Runt
Rita and Runt Theme • Humans Ain't What They Seem to Be • I, Camenbert • At The End Of My Fork • Look At Rita! • Flat in Gay Paree • I Am Definitely Runt • Rita and Runt • Do You Hear The Poodles Bark? • Dig Down • Bitten In The Butt • Runt and Camenbert • At the End of the Road • A Place Called Home • All Wrapped Up in Love • Let's Try For Two • Use Your Brain • A Hands On Kinda Gal • Let's Try For Three • Together • Milk Please Mama • I'm Nobody's Mama • Monterey • Happy Bob's Bunny Ranch • Stereotypical View • Bunny Bedtime • Miao • Florida • Cats Always Get the Short End of the Stick • I'll Go It Alone • Corn • Dizzy • Fraidy Cat • Is This My Destiny? • The Judge • There's Nothing Quite Like a Cat • Still There's Me and You
Chicken Boo
Chicken Boo Theme • Davy Omelette • Jingle Boo
Other
Hip Hippos Theme • La Behemoth • It's Not Pretty Being Me • Mr. Skullhead Show Theme • Katie Ka-Boom Theme • Mindy and the Brain • Pinky and the Cat • Dottie the Squirrel • Sister Slappy • Animaniacs Theme Song (Three Tenors Version) • Twelve Days Of Christmas (Blue Bird Edition) • Hello My Lady • Pinky and the Ralph • The Animaniacs Suite
Scrapped Songs
The Geologic Clock • Dear Mister Gingrich