Opens with the Newsreel of the Stars.
Narrator (Everything is in black-and-white) "Newsreel of the Stars," dateline Hollywood 1930. (Shows the Warner Bros. water tower) The Warner Brothers studio. (cut to outside the Termite Terrace Animation building) Here at the studio's (Zooms in) new animation department (cut to inside the building. People are drawing at desks around the room. Hello Nurse walks towards one of the desks), the artists toil endlessly to come up with cartoon stars. Ultimately creating (The artist near Hello Nurse draws a black-and-white version of Yakko, Wakko, and Dot.) three new characters: the Warner Brothers and their sister Dot. (The artist colors their noses. The Warners jump out of the drawing. Yakko and Wakko fall into Hello Nurse's arms, Dot falls into the artist's arms.)
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot Hellooo, nurse!
Narrator Cut to outside the building. The workers are running away from it) Unfortunately, the Warner kids were totally out of control.
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot (In the doorway, holds up paintbrushes, and jumps down the steps) [With each jump] Boingy, Boingy, Boingy, Boingy!
Cut to a movie set, where more workers are running in terror. A trailer was vandalized, saying "YAKKO WAS HERE." A fire hydrant is leaking.
Narrator The trio ran amok throughout the studio! (Yakko, Wakko, and Dot run on screen, and a net falls over them. Camera pans to reveal that Ralph T. Guard had caught them with a net attached to a fishing pole. He reels them in.) ....until their capture. (Cut to the back row of a movie theater, with the projector on. Three men cringe at the movie.) The Warners' films, which made absolutely no sense, (Cut to a worker in a radiation-protected suit using tongs to throw reels of film into a vault) were locked away in the studio vault, never to be released. (The vault door closes. Cut to a scene of the Warners. Wakko is throwing his head in the air, Yakko is laughing hysterically, and Dot is using her ears as a pullstring to roll her head) As for the Warners themselves, (Wakko hits Yakko with his head, still detached) they were locked away in the studio water tower, also never to be released. (Cut to the Water Tower, the Warners are bouncing around inside, Ralph shuts the door. Cut to the Warner Bros front gate) Publicly, the studio has disavowed any knowledge of the Warners' existence to this very day... when the Warners escaped!
Theme song. Shows "DE-ZANITIZED" title card. Cut and pan across a psychiatrist's office, with Dr. Scratchansniff on the bed, and an unknown person writing notes in a chair.
Dr. Scratchansniff I suppose it would be vise to start at the very beginning, ja?
Unknown Psychiatrist Proceed.
Dr. Scratchansniff *Sigh* I was the one of the most successful psychoanalysts in all of Hollywood. Fifty years ago, I started working at Warner Brothers. (Cut to the past, an aerial view of the studio) Ah, Warner Brothers...home to some of the biggest stars in Hollywood.
Cut to Ralph at the front gate. Mr. Biggest Star in Hollywood pulls up.
Ralph T. Guard Morning, Mr. Biggest Star in Hollywood. (Opens the gate)
Mr. Biggest Star in Hollywood Morning, sweetheart. (Drives through)
Porky Pig pulls up
Ralph Uh, Morning, Porky.
Porky [Stuttering] G-g-g-good mo-m-mor-m-m-mo-- (Car honks behind him) [loses stutter] ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! Hello. (Drives ahead.)
Dr. Scratchansniff (narrating) And when the stars had a problem, they came to me. (Cut to Scratchansniff's office in the past, back when he had hair. An unknown patient is on the bed.)
Dr. Scratchansniff (not narrating) So, tell me more about these dreams you've been having, Mr. Reagan. (Camera moves to show that the patient is Ronald Regan)
Ronald Reagan Well, in my dreams, I'm president of the United States.
Dr. Scratchansniff (Goofy smile toward the audience, and expression falls. Writes on his notepad "DELUSIONS of GRANDEUR INCURABLE")
Cut to and pan across pictures of Dr. Scratchansiff shaking hands with several actors, the Invisible Man, a gangster, and Batman.
'Dr. Scratchansniff'(Narrating) [During pan] For years, the biggest actors told me their problems, their secrets, their pain! Ooh, it was so much fun! And then just recently, I had just completed a delightfully intense session with Clint Eastwood. (The picture with Dr. Scratchansniff with Batman fades to Dr. Scratchansniff wedged into a wall, now with grey hair. He falls out of the wall, and brushes himself off.) happened.
Dr. Scratchansniff (Not narrating) (Surprised exclamations are heard from outside. He runs to the window)
Crowd (Pointing at the water tower) *Scream* What is that? What's going on up there?
Camera pans to show the Water Tower door open, and the Warners leaning over the railing blowing kisses to the crowd.
Dr. Scratchansniff (narrating) It was them...the Varner Brothers! Years of being locked away in the water tower... (the Warners jump onto the street, the crowd runs away) they managed to escape!
Dot Did you miss us?
Dr. Scratchansniff (Not Narrating) I hardly even know you.
Yakko and Wakko We're the Warner Brothers!
Dot And the Warner sister!
Warner siblings (Kisses Dr. Scratchansniff)
Dr. Scratchansniff (gags and chokes, the walks away from the window, the Warners appear right in front of him) AAH! Whatdoyouwant?
Yakko We asked you first.
Dr. Scratchansniff Well, I want--no, you didn't.
Dot Well, we meant to.
Dr. Scratchansniff Do you know who I am?
Warner siblings (Run offscreen, the camera pans to show them with Game Show tables and buzzers)
Yakko (Presses his buzzer first) Dr. Otto Scratchansniff, world-famous psychoanalyst to the stars?
Dr. Scratchansniff Correct.
Yakko I won! I won! (Jumps into Dr. Scratchansniff's arms) What did I win!?
Dr. Scratchansniff [Angrily] Nothing.
Yakko Say, what kind of game show is this?
Dr. Scratchansniff This isn't a game show.
Yakko I'll say it isn't. Nobody wins anything. You'll be lucky to be on the air for one week!
Dr. Scratchansniff (Thows Yakko) NURSE! NURSE!
Hello Nurse (Opens the door) Yes, Dr. Scratchansniff?
Dr. Scratchansniff GET THESE KIDS OUT OF HERE!
Yakko and Wakko (Pants, theirs hearts beat out of the chest, and they sit like dogs and pant more. Dot gives an exasperated look) [As Hello Nurse walks by] Helloooo Nurse! (Dot facepalms)
Camera zooms in on Nurse's face, with a heart border, she turns around slowly.
Yakko (A thought bubble appears showing him and Hello Nurse riding a horse together in slow motion)
Wakko (A thought bubble appears showing him and Hello Nurse riding together in a convertible)
Dot (With a confused expression, a thought bubble appears with her riding in a boat with Dr. Scratchansniff. She shakes and the thought bubble disappears.) Diiiisgusting!
Hello Nurse Why don't you cute little kids follow me? (She walks out of the room with Yakko and Wakko floating behind her. Dot follows, still with a confused expression.)
(Cut to Dr. Scratchansniff walking down the hall to Thaddeus Plotz's office)
Dr. Scratchansniff (narrating) After the Warner Brothers escaped, I was called to see the chairman of the board of the Warner Brothers studio.
(Cut to inside Thaddeus' office. Dr. Scratchansniff sits down. Thaddeus presses a red button. The curtains close.)
Thaddeus Plotz (Fakes a happy expression, then loses it and stands up) THE WARNER BROTHERS ARE WREAKING HAVOC THROUGHOUT THE STUDIO, SCRATCHANSNIFF! (Hits the table) AND I WON'T HAVE IT! (Starts walking across the table) In order for a studio to run efficiently, there must be order, calmness, control. The Warner Brothers have taken the calmness and replaced it with chaos. (Kicks a lamp off the table) They're too zany, Scratchansniff! (pokes Scratchansniff in the nose) I haven't been this upset since we made (Grabs Dr.Scrathansniff) "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead." And I have chosen you to get (Drops Scratchansniff) the Warner Brothers under control.
Dr. Scratchansniff Why me?
Thaddeus Plotz Because you're a psychiatrist, dummy. (He walks back across the table.)
Dr. Scratchansniff Oh...
(Cut to Dr. Scratchansniff walking around his office, deep in thought.)
'Dr. Scratchansniff '(narrating) Und so, I scheduled an appointment with the Warner Brothers. I'll never forget our first session... (He turns and looks out his window as a marching drum beat is heard.)
(Cut to Hello Nurse walking across movie lot. The camera zooms out to reveal the Warners are following her: Wakko, the closest, is playing a snare drum.)
Dr. Scratchansniff (Turns around as his office door opens. Camera pans across wall, showing many certifications he has earned, until it reaches the open doorway where Hello Nurse is standing. The Warners instantly rush into the doorway from offscreen.)
Hello Nurse The Warner Brothers are here for their 3:00 appointment. (Turns to the brothers. They are panting again) You be good little boys. (The Warner Brothers dreamily close their eyes. Hello Nurse walks out of shot and they faint one after the other)
Yakko and Wakko (They both look up as Hello Nurse closes the door and stare, wide eyed, tongues slowly rolling out to an exaggerated length.)
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