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Theme Song[]

(music)

Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

It's time for Animaniacs

And we're zany to the max

So just sit back and relax,

you'll laugh to you collapse.

We're Animaniacs!

Yakko and Wakko:

Come join the Warner Brothers

Dot:

And the Warner Sister, Dot!

Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

Just for fun, we run around the Warner movie lot

They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught

But we break loose and then vamoose and now you know the plot!

We're Animaniacs!

Dot has wit and Yakko yaks

Wakko packs away the snacks, our careers have made comebacks

We're Animaniacs!

Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe,

A brand new cast who tested well in focus group research.

Gender Balance, Pronoun Neutral and Ethically Diverse!

The trolls will say we're so passé but we did meta first!

We're Animaniacs!

You should see our new contracts

We're zany to the max, there's baloney in our slacks!

We're Animanie!

Totally insane-y!

Dot:

May cause eye strain-y!

Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

AN-I-MAN-I-ACS!

Those are the facts!

Anima-Nyet[]

*Yakko: And you think that microwaving the remote will give it magical powers allowing you to travel back and forth through time using the "Forward" and "Rewind" buttons?

*Wakko: Uh-huh!

*Yakko: Welp, works for me!

*Dot: Let's see it!

*Wakko: (Pushes one of the buttons on the Remote)

*Dot: You did something to the TV!

*Wakko: What is this?

*Yakko: Either Drew Carey's lost weight again, or this is overseas TV.

*Gameshow Host: Sebastian, your bid for this kilogram of maize is 317 Million Venezuelan bolivars. Retail Price... 400 Million Venezuelan bolivars!

*Gameshow Host: (Is suddenly given a new card) New Retail Price... 10 BILLION BOLIVARS?!

*Dot: (Changes the channel) We're getting Futbol Mundial.

*Announcer: GOOOOAALLL!!

*Dot: (Changes the channel again) Cricket Mundial!

*Announcer: GOOOOAALLL!!

*Dot: (Changes the channel yet again) Space Spheres Mundial?

*Announcer: GOOOOAALLL!!

*Dot: (Changes the channel yet again)

(music)

Oh...

It's time for Anima-nyet!

Comply or face max punishment!

So take seat and stay alert

We'll give you reasonable smirk

We're Anima-nyet!

(end of music)

*Narrator: And now, Territories of Russian Federation!

*Yakkov: Brother Wakkov! Sing song about territories of Russia Federation, because I am ignorant plebeian!

*Yakko: HEY! I am NOT an ignorant plebeian! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

*Wakko: Shh! Quiet, the Russian me is singing!

(music)

Wakkov:

Georgia is Russian, so is Ukraine...

Kosovo, Armenia, same with Lithuan...ia.

Crimea Peninsula is Russian all the way

And our global sphere of influence extends to USA!

Hey!

(end of music)

*Wakko: ...He was flat for that entire chorus!

*Dot: Whats the matter, boys? Can't take a little Russian razzing?

*Dotski: Nyet, idiot brothers!

*Dot: Wait!

*Dotski: Nyet, nyet, nyet! You shame our leader by underestimating reach of mighty Russian Federation!

*Dot: Is that supposed to be me? I do NOT look, sound or probably SMELL like THAT!

*Yakko: Aww, that's what everyone says when they see themselves on camera.

*Dotski: Is punishment time. Follow sister Dotski.

*Yakkov, Wakkov and Dotski: Forgive us, Mr. Putin, president for life. We deserve kick in buttskis for not mention Damascus in song.

*Yakko: Sibs! We gotta do something about these Russians!

*Yakkov: We are in agreement to act about USA!

*Dot: We could write them a strongly worded E-mail?

*Dotski: We could hack weakly secured E-mail?

*Wakko: We could launch a land invasion in the winter! Third time's the charm!

*Wakkov: We could have another world war! Third time is charm!

*Dot: Can they hear us?

*Wakko: (Sneezes)

*Yakkov, Wakkov and Dotski: Gesundheit.

*Yakko, Wakko and Dot: AAAAAAH!

*Wakko: (Throws the Remote at the TV, breaking the screen)

*Dot: We've been compromised!

*Wakko: But how?

*Bradimir: Hello, Warners! Is me! USA intern, Bradimir! I am here for take coffee order, and also for fix broken television. (Slams a slab of Wood onto where the glass once was) Is shiny as new! See you round, like dome of Kremlin! (Jumps out the Water Tower)

*Yakko: Does anyone else think there's something... Odd about that new intern?

*Wakko: Yeah! He didn't take our coffee orders! ...Maybe he is taking coffee orders!

*Yakko: Nah, it's 2pm, the writers went home hours ago.

*Dot: Hidden Cameras, stolen scripts... (Gasp) THE RUSSIANS HAVE BEEN SPYING ON US!

*Yakko: HEY! THIS IS AMERICA! ONLY THE NSA IS ALLOWED TO DO THAT! We've gotta STOP 'EM!

*Yakko, Wakko and Dot: (The three all jump into a box and ship themselves to Russia)

*Yakko: Wow. Russia is exactly like the movies.

*Tour Guide: It is so exciting to have visit from USA Warnerovs! As you will see, Russian Television is equal of anything made in imperialist west. This is were is filmed popular Russian inquisitive program, Who wants to be an Oligarch.

*WWTBAO Host: Who is greatest leader in world?

*WWTBAO Player: Uhhhh... C?

*Tour Guide: And here, we have most popular cooking show, Master Beet Chef!

*MBC Chef: I like extensive use of beet.

*Tour Guide: And if you watch Channel Ɛ, you must know next show, Moron Mouse and the Rat-Sputin!

*Moron Mouse: What do we accomplish tomorrow evening, Rat-Sputin?

*Rat-Sputin: Same thing we accomplish all evening, Moron Mouse... (Salutes) Support current leader and ask no questions!

*Tour Guide: And here we are, least but not last, Anima-Nyet!

*Yakko: Finally, it is time to put an end to this!

*Dot: ...Maybe it'll die peacefully on its own--

*Sokolov: GET TO PLACES OR 10 YEARS GULAG! AAANND ACTIONSKI!

*Ivan the Terrible: I am Ivan the Terrible, zany depiction of beloved historical figure!

*Yakkov: Mr. the Terrible, I am torment you for funny effect! (Smacks Wakkov)

*Wakkov: I too am torment you for humor!

*Dotski: Nyet, nyet, nyet! Ivan is first-ever Russian strongman. Always, we bow down to strongman.

*Yakko: This is outrageous! For starters, my slacks are smokey topaz, not tan!

*Dot: Is THAT supposed to be Hello Nurse?!

*Yakkov: Hellooooo... Female Medical Professional..!

*Sokolov: No, no, no, no, CUTSKI! You deliver all wrong!

*Yakkov: Hello, Female Medical Professional... I don't understand why is funny!

*Sokolov: Is funny because female not smart enough to be Medical Professional! Hahaha...

*Dot: THAT'S IT! We order you to stop this SEXIST, STUPID, SAD SACK, META SATIRE AT ONCE!

*Sokolov: HA! I am big-shot Sergei Sokolov! I director of famous Russian movie films! Pole Fiction, The Devil Reads Pravda and ET: Elect Trump! I cannot be stopped!

*Yakko: Don't say we didn't warn ya! Music!

*Sokolov, Wakkov and Dotski: Huh?

*Wakko: Original Animaniacs Composer Randy Rogel?

*Randy (whispered): HELP ME!

*Yakko: After the song.

(music)

Dot:

To be like me

All you gotta be

Is perfect, funny, cute and smart and strong!

And if the time permits

Find your Slavic counterfeit

And kick their ample butt-skis from this song!


Wakko:

To be like me, eat everything you see

And always stand up for your mates.

And if some big brawny czar

Is acting real bizarre

Just pop his muscle suit and watch him deflate.


Yakko:

And to be like me, well buddy, here's the key.

Use the pen and not the sword when you're in a fight.

You could write a clever rhyme

Turn your foes into a mime

And then sign off by wishing everyone goodnight!


Sokolov (spoken):

Let me out, or I call police!


Yakko (spoken):

Yeah, I don't think they'll care. It's a victimless mime.


Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

So be like us, it doesn't take much fuss.

And just like us, it's really all black and white.

You just gotta be yourself

Don't copy someone else.

'Cause being you is a singular delight!

(end of music)

*Putin: Happy-go-lucky tinkle dee doo dah song? Nyet on my watch! (Pushes a button)

*Military Man: Who is director of this disgrace?

*Yakko, Wakko and Dot: (All point to Sokolov)

*Military Man: You are under arrest for make subversive content song in Putin wonderland of tolerance!

*Tour Guide: I apologise for my countryman. Russians are good people, we just have egotistical idiot in power.

*Yakko: We know the feeling, comrade.

*Tour Guide: Bye-bye, Warners! Safe travels to land of heated dog beds and battery-powered greeting cards!

*Wakko: How'd she find us a flight so fast?

*Yakko: Apparently this plane flies from Moscow to Washington, daily.

Pinky and the Brain Theme Song[]

Pinky (spoken):

Gee, Brain, what do ya wanna do tonight?

Brain (spoken):

The same thing we do every night, Pinky... Try to take over the world!

(music)

Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

It's Pinky and the Brain,

Yes, Pinky and the Brain,

One is a genius, the other's insane.

They're laboratory mice,

Their genes have been spliced,

They're dinky,

They're Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain.

Babysitter's Flub[]

(music)

The Groggles:

(Please add)

(end of music)

*Pinky: Yay!

*Brain: Pinky, if you don't reduce the volume of that aural spackling compound, I will defenestrate you.

*Pinky: No thanks, Brain, I've already had a bath! Say, what're you doing behind that giant napkin?

*Brain: Behold. (Removes the curtain) I have created the world's most powerful tractor beam.

*Pinky: Tractor? Egad! That reminds me of another Groggle song!

(music)

Pinky and the Groggles:

Old Monsanto had a farm, G M G M O!

(end of music)

*Brain: (Takes Pinky's tablet and throws it out the window) Well, once this satellite is in orbit, it shall emit a highly concentrated de Brogile wave of non-relativistic matter particles. Anyone in the path of the matter wave will experience a countervailing quantum mechanical force, suspending them in the air, until they swear fealty to me.

*Pinky: (Snoring) Oh! Uh, brilliant, Brain! Brilliant! Heh... Yesterday I felt like you were phoning it in, but today's plan? Whoo! Real doozy!

*Brain: (Throws Pinky out the window)

*Pinky: AAAAAAHHHH!

*Brain: The only thing I need now is a reliable power source, yet the only substance capable of generating the necessary energy is the rarest element in the universe. Quantium.

*Pinky: Love.

*Brain: ...No, that's not it.

*Pinky: Oh, sorry. What did you say? Because I said

*Brain: Quantium.

*Pinky: "Love". ...Okay, maybe just say it on the count of three. One, two,

*Brain: Quantium.

*Pinky: three! Oops! I missed it again, 'cause I was saying

*Brain: QUANTIUM!

*Pinky: three!

*Brain: (Forces Pinky to punch himself)

(Scene change)

*Pinky: Whee! Oh, isn't this fun, Brain?

*Brain: ..Whee indeed.

(Unfinished)

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