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Newsreel of the stars[]

*Narrator: "Newsreel of the Stars," dateline Hollywood 1930. The Warner Brothers studio. Here at the studio's new animation department, the artists toil endlessly to come up with cartoon stars. Ultimately creating three new characters: the Warner Brothers and their sister Dot.

*Yakko, Wakko and Dot: Hello, nurse!

*Narrator: Unfortunately, the Warner kids went totally out of control.

*Yakko, Wakko and Dot: Boingy, boingy, boingy, boingy!

*Narrator: The trio ran amok throughout the studio... until their capture. The Warners' films, which made absolutely no sense, were locked away in the studio vault, never to be released. As for the Warners themselves, they were locked away in the studio water tower, also never to be released. Publicly, the studio has disavowed any knowledge of the Warners' existence to this very day...when the Warners escaped!

Theme song[]

(music)

*Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

It's time for Animaniacs

And we're zany to the max

So just sit back and relax.

You'll laugh till you collapse.

We're Animaniacs!

*Yakko and Wakko:

Come join the Warner Brothers

*Dot:

And the Warner Sister Dot

*Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

Just for fun, we run around the Warner movie lot.

They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught.

But we break loose and then vamoose and now you know the plot.

We're Animaniacs

Dot is cute and Yakko yaks.

Wakko packs away the snacks

While Bill Clinton plays the sax

We're Animaniacs!

Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe.

Goodfeathers flock together, Slappy whacks them with her purse.

Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse.

The writers flipped, We have no script, Why bother to rehearse?

*All:

We're Animaniacs

We have pay-or-play contracts

We're zany to the max

There's baloney in our slacks!

We're Animanie-

Totally insane-y

Here's the show's name-y

Animaniacs! Those are the facts!

Mime Time[]

*Narrator: It's mime time. Today on mime time... trapped in an imaginary box.

(box gets smaller, vault smashes mime)

*Narrator: The end.

La La Law[]

*Dot: Previously on warner law,

*Otto: Oh, no, A parking ticket? But why? I put money in the meter!

*Yakko: If you're innocent, then you've got to fight this ticket.

*Wakko: We'll even help ya.

*Dot: We'll be your lawyers!

*Otto: Ha ha! You? My lawyers? Oh, no no no no no. You kids is crazy. I'm going to pay the ticket, boom, and zat is zat. And don't come anywhere near me! (slams door)

*Yakko: Come, siblings. We have a trial to prepare.

(change scene, captions of the characters)

*Dot: (kisses man)

*Wakko: (photocopies paper)

*Yakko: (chases woman)

*Otto: (squashed by suitcase which says Warner law, dazed)

*Judge: Dr. Otto Scratchansniff, you're charged with a parking violation. You can pay the ticket or try to prove your innocence. Well, I brought my checkbook, so I'll just-

*Yakko: fight!

*Otto: Oh, no, not zem!

*Judge: Who said that?

*Yakko: (kisses judge) I did, your judgity.

*Judge: What is the meaning of this?

*Yakko: That's a finger. You have five of them on each hand. Unless you're in the circus, then it's negotiable. Allow me to introduce my associates. (brings them out of suitcase, both siblings kiss judge) We're from the law firm of Warner,

*Dot: Warner

*Wakko: Warner

*Yakko: And mime. He's our silent partner.

(mime gets squashed by anvil)

*Yakko: We're dr. Scratchansniff's lawyers.

*Otto: Please go away.

*Yakko: Now, you just sit right down here and leave everything to us.

*Yakko: Help. Ahem. Mr. Judge person, we'll prove that dr. Scratchansniff is innocent beyond a shadow of a dot.

*Judge: I hate puns.

*Yakko: We will also prove justice is not blind, she's cross-eyed.

(Yakko takes off blindfold, puts on glasses. Statue says thanks.)

*Judge: Now, see here! I've had just about enough of this falderal!

*Warner Trio (singing):

Falderal

Falderee

Falderah

Falderah ee oo ee ah hee hee

*Judge (spoken): Can we just get on with the trial? Now, have you subpeneed a witness?

*Yakko: Have we what?

*Judge: Subpenee! Subpenee! Have you subpeneed a witness?

*Yakko: I certainly hope not. You should be ashamed for even thinking it.

*Judge: Then call your first witness!

*Otto: Uh, can I say something, please?

*Warner Trio: No.

*Yakko: Your immensity, we call to the stand the person that gave dr. Scratchansniff the ticket-- Burbank meter maid miss Gerty Bilchmoytner.

(she drives in)

*Wakko: Do you swear?

*Gerty: Yes.

*Wakko: Well, you shouldn't. It's not nice.

*Judge: You may be seated, miss Bilchmoytner.

*Dot: Miss Bilchmoytner, or is it Nana Puntridge of Palo alto, California?

*Gerty: No!

*Dot: Oh. I'm done.

*Yakko: Go for it.

(Wakko thinks and then points, repeats this, but no words come out)

*Judge: Will you get on with it?

*Wakko: Miss bilchmoytner, do you, like candy?

*Gerty: Yes.

*Wakko: Do you have any?

*Gerty: No.

*Wakko: I'm through. Your turn.

*Yakko: Oh, thank you, I have so much to go on. Miss bilchmoytner, why did you give dr. Scratchansniff a ticket?

*Gerty: His parking meter had expired. That's a violation of the Burbank penal code.

*Yakko: The what?

*Gerty: The penal code, The penal code!

*Yakko: You know, the two of you ought to get together. Miss bilchmoytner, you're a meter maid, is that correct?

*Gerty: Yes.

*Yakko: Do you do windows?

*Gerty: No, of course not!

*Yakko: What kind of maid are you?

*Judge: Stop badgering the witness!

*Yakko: (holds badger by neck, throws away) Sorry. (gets goes)

*Judge: What are you doing now?

*Yakko: Goating the witness.

*Judge: One more pun like that, and I'll find you in contempt.

*Yakko: Oh, I've never been to contempt. Isn't that in New Mexico?

*Dot: Can we all go?

*Wakko: Do they have bats there? Do they suck blood?

*Judge: You kids are driving me crazy!

*Otto: I wonder what prison is like.

*Yakko: Now, miss Bilchmoytner, is it not possible that because you are such a terrible maid the meter might have been, dirty and malfunctioning?

*Gerty: Well, I-I suppose anything is possible, but I'm not sure that-

*Yakko: And, isn't that what happened? You gave him a ticket he did not deserve!

*Judge: Stop leading the witness.

*Yakko: All right, then, you lead.

(playing tango music, Yakko dances with Gerty.)

*Yakko: everybody!

(Dot dances with the judge, Wakko dances with Otto.)

*Yakko: Switch!

*Judge: I love to tango.

*Gerty: Oh ho ho ho, judge! But what about the trial?

*Judge: Forget the trial. Let's talk about us. Case dismissed!

*Dot: Looks like the trial's over, scratchy.

*Wakko: We won!

*Yakko: I guess justice isn't cross-eyed after all. It's in love!

(Wakko dances with Dot, Yakko dances with Otto)

Mime Time[]

*Narrator: It's mime time. Today on mime time, throwing an imaginary football.

(Mime throws, and then gets tackled by players)\

*Narrator: The end.

Mindy and Buttons intro[]

*Mindy: Buttons! Oh, buttons!

*Buttons: (runs towards Mindy and jumps, but falls down a deep hole)

*Mindy: He-he-huh! Silly puppy!

Cat on a Hot Steel Beam[]

*Mindy: (literally flies around) Waah! Ahhh! Blblbl! Whoa! Ha ha ha! (imitating airplane)

(cat meows)

*Mindy: kitty!

*Buttons: (Snoring)

(Mindy tries to get to the kitty, but is restrained by harness)

*Mindy: Huh? oh. Kitty! (escapes)

(the kitten moves away, Mindy follows, opens door, leaves, Buttons follows)

*Mindy's mom: how do you work this thing?

(Mindy continues following)

*Mindy: ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha!

(traffic lights go red. Then green. Buttons gets flattened. Mindy and the kitty run through quick drying cement. Mindy and the kitty run onto the flattener. Buttons jumps in the way. Cement cracks. Buttons gets flattened.)

*Mindy: Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty! (all on steel beam, then on construction place) kitty!

(Mindy has to jump, makes it, Buttons runs into wall)

Mindy: Kitty! uh! Unh! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Buttons look funny! ooh!

*Man: Green bean! Come back, green bean!

Cat and Mouse: Oh!

(Animaniacs and babies run through, Wakko kisses Buttons. Warners run from Ralph.)

*Mindy: runs to edge

(Buttons panics and attaches platforms to edge of construction)

*Mindy: (Laughs)

*Guy on moon: Greetings, earth dog.

*Mindy: hi.

*Workers: Hi.

*Mindy: What'cha doing?

*Workers: Eating lunch.

*Mindy: Why?

*Workers: 'Cause it's lunchtime.

*Mindy: Why?

*Worker: 'Cause we worked hard all morning.

*Mindy: Why?

*Worker: You got me, kid.

*Mindy: O.K. I love you, bye-bye.

*Worker: Cute kid. Yeah. Cute kid! Up here?

(Buttons falls from the sky)

*Mindy: Buttons! Hi. I love you.

*Buttons: (whimpering)

*Worker: Is that your dog?

*Mindy: My dog.

*Worker: Give me the foreman! There's a kid's up here, on the 90th floor! Call the fire department! Call the cops! Call action witness news!

(Fire truck siren)

*TV (male reporter): Excitement and danger's in the air as a baby girl is reported to be on the 90th floor of this building under construction.

*Mindy's dad: Isn't that Buttons?

*Mindy's mom: Oh, my goodness! That's Mindy!

*Mindy: Ahhh! Ahh!

*Worker: That's it, good dog. You're gonna be all right, fella.

(kitten struggles, Buttons comes)

*Worker: Hold it, boy! Come back!

(kitten falls, grabbed by Buttons, both fall.)

*Mindy's dad: Mindy! We're so glad you're safe!

*Mindy: Kitty! Sweet kitty, kitty, kitty.

Mindy’s mom: Buttons!

Mindy’s dad: Bad dog! Bad, bad dog!

*Mindy's mom: We trust you with Mindy's safety, and look what happens!

*Mindy's dad: Look at all the trouble you caused, just because you had to chase a cat!

*Mindy's mom: Bad dog! Bad, bad, dog!

Mime Time[]

*Narrator: It's mime time. Today on mime time, pullin' an imaginary rope.

(bag squashes mime)

*Narrator: The end.

End[]

(Animaniacs theme instrumental)

*Warners: Ciao-a-bunga!

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