Animaniacs Wiki
Advertisement
Animaniacs Wiki

Theme song[]

(music)

*Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

It's time for Animaniacs

And we're zany to the max

So just sit back and relax.

You'll laugh till you collapse.

We're Animaniacs!

*Yakko and Wakko:

Come join the Warner Brothers

*Dot:

And the Warner Sister Dot

*Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

Just for fun, we run around the Warner movie lot.

They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught.

But we break loose and then vamoose and now you know the plot.

We're Animaniacs

Dot is cute and Yakko yaks.

Wakko packs away the snacks

While Bill Clinton plays the sax

We're Animaniacs

Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe.

Goodfeathers flock together, Slappy whacks them with her purse.

Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse.

The writers flipped, We have no script,

Why bother to rehearse?

*All:

We're Animaniacs

We have pay-or-play contracts

We're zany to the max

There's baloney in our slacks!

We're Animanie-

Totally insane-y

The rain in Spain-y

Animaniacs! Those are the facts!

Be Careful What You Eat[]

(Warner Trio goes shopping, they have junk food in their cart.)

*Wakko: Hey, let's get some ice cream!

*Dot: How 'bout this one? Pistachio almond fruit fudge butterscotch delight.

*Yakko (singing): Ingredients:

Zinc trisodium, aspartate,

Sorbitol and bisulfate,

Oxide beta carotene,

Lactic acid, carob bean.

(sung)

*Yakko:

Grade A milk emulsified, malto-dextrin alkalide,

Silicon deoxylite, lots of sugar,

*Wakko and Dot:

Hey, alright!

*Yakko:

Calcified synthetic salt, artificial barley malt,

Glycerine and aspartate, folic acid

*Wakko:

That tastes great!

*Warner Trio:

Monosodium glutamate, dehydrated calceinate;

Soybean oil, butter fat, caramel center

*Wakko:

I'll eat that!

(Eats words)

*Warner Trio:

Hooray for sugar, 'cause we love it, chocolate chips,

We want more of it,

Cakes and ice cream, watch us shove it,

Down our throats real fast.

*Yakko:

Here's a candy bar, you tried it?

*Wakko:

Hey, let's all see what's inside it

*Yakko:

Gelatinized triglycerin, phospate soybean lecithin,

Deoxylite tri-silicon,

Dipped in chocolate

*Wakko and Dot:

Bring it on!

*Yakko:

Citrus enzymes, BHT, powdered milk

*Dot:

Sounds good to me!

*Yakko:

Baking soda, carob gum, carbohydrates

*Wakko and Dot:

Yummy yum!

*Warner Trio:

Monosodium glutamate, zinc disodium algenate,

Whole grain flour, yeast and fat,

Time to eat it, I'll do that

(Eats)

We like sweets a lot,

So give us all you got,

And we'll stuff 'em in our bodies 'till

They make our insides rot.

Intermission[]

*Otto: Tell me what's troubling you, Yakko,

*Yakko: Well doc, I-I think I can see into the future.

*Otto: Into ze future? When did this start?

*Yakko: Next monday.

*Otto: Argh!

*Yakko: Wait, I'm beginning to get a vision!

*Otto: What do you see?

*Yakko: The next cartoon!

Buttons and Mindy intro[]

*Mindy: Buttons, oh Buttons!

(Buttons runs, then falls down a deep hole)

*Mindy: (laughs) Silly puppy

Up the Crazy River[]

*Narrator: We are entering the Brazilian rain forest. Source of more than one third of the world's oxygen, and home to thousands of species of mammals, insects, reptiles, and birds. Many of them, endangered.

*Mindy's Mom: Stand back from the railings, darling. I don't want you getting wet.

*Mindy: Okay, lady.

*Mindy's mom: Huh, Call me mother, call me mommy or mom, but don't call me lady.

*Mindy: Ok, lady.

*Mindy's mom: You, too, Buttons. Nothing worse than a wet dog.

*Mindy's dad: Good boy. Stay dry and there will be a treat for you when we get off.

(Buttons woofs)

*Narrator: More than 5,000 acres of jungle are cut down every day. Unless stopped soon, the destruction of the rainforest will cause irreversible damage to the earth's ecosphere.

*Mindy: Butterfly, pretty butterfly.

(Buttons whimpers after Mindy escapes her harness, harness gets stuck on motor. Buttons gets stuck on harness)

*Narrator: As we continue down the river, we find the amazon is also home to varied species of fish, like the pernicious, flesh-eating piranha.

(Buttons escapes the water body, knocks away piranhas, gets in trouble with crocodiles)

*Mindy: Butterfly, pretty butterfly. Butterfly. Butterfly, butterfly. Fly, fly, fly, little butterfly.

(People cut down trees. One is about to fall on Mindy, Buttons stops it.)

*Mindy: Ooh, come back, butterfly!

(Buttons has another tree fall on him.)

*Mindy: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Whee! (falls onto log on river. Warner Trio seen. Laughs) Silly Buttons! Whee! (Logs getting cut automatically. Mindy slides and goes on truck, Buttons starts a chain reaction which destroys the establishment. Train dings)

*Narrator: As we leave, it's important to be aware of how fragile our environment is. Remember, a rain forest is a living thing.

*Mindy: Butterfly, come back.

(Mindy falls onto boat)

*Mindy: Hello, mr. Butterfly.

*Narrator: And, finally, we end our tour with the world's highest waterfall.

*Mindy's mom: Step back, darling. You don't want to get wet.

*Mindy: Bye-bye.

(Buttons gets wet, shakes and gets Mindy wet.)

*Mindy's dad: Shame on you, Buttons. Bad dog! You got Mindy all wet. Well, no treat for you.

(Buttons moans)

*Mindy: It's okay. I love you. Bye-bye.

Intermission[]

*Otto: All right, kiddies. Let's see what your drawings say about you. Dot.

*Dot: I drew a picture of the Eiffel tower in Italy.

*Otto: But zere is no Eiffel tower in Italy.

*Dot: Exactly.

*Otto: Wakko, what have you drawn?

*Wakko: It's a cow eating grass.

*Otto: But where is the grass?

*Wakko: The cow ate it.

*Otto: But where is the cow?

*Wakko: Well he's not going to stick around if there's no more grass to eat.

*Otto: Let's see yours, yakko.

*Yakko: It's a cartoon.

*Otto: Aah! There's nothing there! That's not a cartoon!

*Yakko: Sure it is. It just hasn' started yet.

Ta Da Dump, Ta Da Dump, Ta Da Dump Dump Dump[]

*Squit: When you're a goodfeather, it's like being in a family. Putting food on the table is a matter of honor, but sometimes it's a lot of pain for not much gain.

(Birds surround hot dog, covering Pesto and Squit in dust.)

*Pesto: Look at me! I got it! I got it! (fights for hot dog) Hey, give me that, you good-for-nothing nobody bird! (screams as he gets squashed by wheel)

(The Warners get chased by Ralph.)

*Squit: (grabs Pesto) You okay? You look dizzy.

*Pesto: What do you mean I'm dizzy?

*Squit: Hey, I just said you looked dizzy, that's all.

*Pesto: You saying I'm some dim-witted blond bombshell here to titillate you?

*Squit: What, hey, I just thought you looked dizzy.

*Pesto: That's it! (fights)

*Squit: Lucky for us, Bobby always came through with the good scores.

*Bobby: Hey, what are you, some kind of a maniac, here?

*Pesto: Wha-what? He was busting my beak over here.

*Bobby: Yeah, I ought to beak the both of youse. Bada bing. Now listen, I got a sweet score over on the east side.

*Pesto: A score?

*Bobby: Shh. Want to tell the whole world?

*Pesto: What-wha-what did I do?

*Bobby: Come on!

*Squit: It was a sweet score, alright, but it was out of our territory, over on the gulls' side of town.

*Pesto: Why should they squawk? We're just after a beakin' meal here. There's plenty for everybody.

*Squit: I don't see why they got a problem.

*Pesto: What problem, we're just going to eat. Somebody's got a problem with that, I'll give them a beakin' problem.

Bobby: That's what I'm saying. Just dig in, and if they start squawking, I'll take care of it. You know what I'm saying?

(gulls squawking)

*Gulls: Hey, pigeons, you're out of your league. You better get out of here, you little rats with wings.

*Bobby: You squawking to me? Sounds like you're squawking to me. Are you squawking to me? Trying to squawk to me?

*Pesto: I'm squawking to you.

*Bobby: Who's squawking to me?

*Pesto: Me! I'm saying help!

(Pesto gets stuck in plastic)

*Squit: Hey Pesto, what are you doing?

*Pesto: What does it look like? I'm stuck, that's what I'm doing, here. Think this is some kind of a fashion statement or something here?

*Bobby: What, are you some kind of a maniac? How'd you do that?

*Pesto: I go to grab a bite, and coo, next thing I know, I'm stuck. You going to help me, here or are you just going to stand there?

*Squit: Yeah, I'll help you. (slips on banana)

*Pesto: Hey! Whoa! No! Aah!

*Gulls: (laughing)

(Pesto coughs)

*Squit: Sorry, Pesto.

*Pesto: You're sorry? I'm drowning here. What do I look like, Esther Williams? You think I'm some kind of a Mark Spitz, here?

*Bobby: I know how to get him outta there. C'mon.

*Pesto: Hey, I can't see what I'm doing here. Where are you taking me? What am I, the caboose?

*Bobby: Now watch me, and do what I do.

(Both pull on plastic, snaps plastic. All scream.)

*Bobby: I just want you to know this is starting to upset me.

*Pesto: Upset you?

*Bobby: Yeah.

*Pesto: I'm upsetting you?

*Bobby: No. The situation upsets me.

*Pesto: Oh, and I'm not upset? How about me over here?

*Bobby: Come here.

*Pesto: Ey?

*Bobby: Come over here. Are you finished?

*Pesto: Uh, eh, I'm, eh, I'm done, yeah.

*Bobby: Good. I got a plan. Shh.

*Pesto: What is this, a wedding? What am I, a tin can, here? I feel like an old shoe. Somebody throw some rice already.

*Bobby: Just hold on. When the cabs take off, the rings stretch, badabing, badaboom, you're out!

(engine starts, rope snaps, all get tied in rope.)

*Squit: Yo, Pesto, when you get stuck, you get stuck good.

*Pesto: What exactly do you mean by that?

*Squit: What, I mean you're really stuck, you know?

*Pesto: No, I do not know. You tell me. You mean I'm like an old piece of gum? Is that what you mean? I'm like something stuck under a chair here to disgust you? Is that what you mean?!

*Squit: Get outta here, I just mean you're stuck, that's all.

*Pesto: That's it! (fighting)

*Bobby: Hey, pesto, what are you, a maniac? Whoa! (pulled into fighting) Pesto! (fighting stops) Good, this is good. Now we're all stuck.

*Pesto: Bobby, I'm sorry, but Squit was busting my beak.

*Woman: I'd like three hot dogs.

*Vendor: Coming right up.

*Bobby: That's it. Bada bingo! That's our ticket out of here.

*Pesto: What, what are you talking about here?

*Bobby: Shh. Follow me.

*Woman: And I'd like three sodas with that.

*Vendor: Here you go.

(Unsticks birds)

*Woman: Aah! Pigeons!

*Pesto: I got to hand it to you, Bobby, that was amazing.

*Bobby: Yeah, yeah. Later. Now let's get back to that score. Hey, what happened here?

(Ship moves away)

*Squit: Looks like were out of luck.

*Pesto: What're you saying, that we're losers?

*Squit: No, I just said we're out of luck this time, that's all.

*Pesto: Like we're a bunch of defunct leprechauns here? Is that it?

*Squit: What? No. That's not what I meant.

*Bobby: What are you two, a couple of maniacs? What are you, crazy?

(All start flying)

*Squit: Maybe, someday, our ship will come in. Meantime, being a goodfeather isn't so bad.

Wheel of Morality[]

*Yakko: It's that time again.

*Dot: To floss?

*Wakko: To make a gookie?

*Yakko: No. It's time to learn the day's lesson. And to find out what it is, we turn to the wheel of morality. Wheel of morality, turn, turn, turn, tell us the lesson that we should learn. Moral number four, and the moral of today's story is,,, the answer, my friend is blowing in the wind, except in New Jersey where what's blowing in the wind smells funny.

*Dot: Kinda brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

*Yakko: Yes, I think we're all deeply moved.

(whistle)

*Warner Trio: Yike!

(Ralph chases)

End[]

(Animaniacs theme instrumental)

(Applause and confetti are present)

*Reporter: Hey, Warner Brothers, and the Warner Sister, you've just completed another great show. What are you going to do now?

*Yakko: We're going to... sleep.

Advertisement