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Good Idea Bad Idea[]

*Narrator: It's time for another good idea, bad idea. Good idea - dressing up for halloween as a pirate. Bad idea - dressing up for halloween as a piñata.

(kids cheering, whacking mr. Skullhead)

*Narrator: The end.

Theme song[]

(music)

*Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

It's time for Animaniacs

And we're zany to the max

So just sit back and relax.

You'll laugh till you collapse.

We're Animaniacs!

*Yakko and Wakko:

Come join the Warner Brothers

*Dot:

And the Warner Sister Dot

*Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

Just for fun, we run around the Warner movie lot.

They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught.

But we break loose and then vamoose and now you know the plot.

We're Animaniacs

Dot is cute and Yakko yaks.

Wakko packs away the snacks

While Bill Clinton plays the sax

We're Animaniacs

Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe.

Goodfeathers flock together, Slappy whacks them with her purse.

Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse.

The writers flipped, We have no script,

Why bother to rehearse?

*All:

We're Animaniacs

We have pay-or-play contracts

We're zany to the max

There's baloney in our slacks!

We're Animanie-

Totally insane-y

*Dot:

Surely MacLaine-y

*All:

Animaniacs! Those are the facts!

Hot, Bothered and Bedeviled[]

(People protesting)

*Saddam: People of Iraq. (Platform falls down, he screams and falls into lava)

*Female Trio (singing):

You plunge into the fire and it's really hot,

You have to stay forever whether you like it or not,

Where the torment never ends.

(People watch the facts of life and scream)

You got fiery brimstone and demons for friends

You're in hades now for eternity

Hope you're not too choosy 'bout your company

(They get poked in their rumps)

Ow!

*Satan (spoken): I so love a musical number. Fetch me an insurance salesman. I want to torment someone.

(rocks crumbling)

*Wakko: We're here.

*Yakko: Hate to tell you this, Wakko, but I... don't think this is six flags over flushing.

*Satan: On second thought, forget the insurance salesman. Those three will do quite nicely.

*Yakko: Ah, this Thomas Bros map is ridiculous. You see? We should have made a left in Cucamonga, and a right in Azusa.

*Dot: I am satan

*Dot: We're trying to figure something out here. Would you be a doll, hold that thought?

*Satan: Sorry.

*Dot: Later, I'm gonna give you some makeup tips.

*Yakko: And another left at Roger Ebert's house of pudding.

(Satan roars, throwing the map away)

*Yakko: Some people always have to be the center of attention.

*Satan: Little fools. I am Beelzebub. Lucifer. The reaper of souls. The really angry one. I am Satan! (laughs)

*Dot: So that's nothing. I'm (in a harsh, rasping voice) princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca Banana Fanna Bo Besca the 3rd (bigger than Satan). (cackles, back to normal size) Just a little thing I do.

*Satan: You blundering dolts. Don't you realize you've entered the fiery realm of hades?

*Wakko: Hades? (Gets snow from outside and comes back. It melts) Boy, they were right. It didn't have a chance.

*Satan: Silence! And now prepare to suffer indescribable torment.

*Yakko: Another bob hope special?

*Satan: Worse. Behold... Cerberus, the hound of hades. Cerberus, my pet, toss these fools into the lake of fire, but slowly. I want to watch them wiggle in agony.

*Yakko: How 'bout if we just wiggle here?

*Warner Trio: Wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle, wiggle-

*Satan: Cease this at once. Cerberus, my pet, throw them in.

*Dot: Wanna meet my pet? (Dot's pet comes out, roars)

(Cerberus whimpers and runs away)

*Yakko: Hey, does George Hamilton know your tan's better than his?

*Satan: Silence! I don't want to hear another peep from you.

*Warner Trio: Peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep-

*Satan: Stop peeping.

*Warner Trio: Peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep, peep-

*Satan: Ooh! Beyond these doors is an agony worse than all others. You will remain in here for eternity, listening to... whiny protest songs from the '60s.

*Bob Dylan (singing):

Oh, I hate the government, more than you and me,

The government stole my goldfish, and unplugged my tv.

(Warner Trio screams)

*Satan: Enjoy.

(Satan is kicked in there, walks out. Dot jumping rope using Wakko's tail.)

*Satan: You dare mock the prince of darkness?

*Dot: Prince? Where? He's dreamy. Not.

*Satan: (roars, gets bigger)

*Wakko: I can do that too. Look at me, I'm a giraffe.

*Satan: Ha! Silly mortal, I can grow taller than you.

*Wakko: Bet you can't.

(They grow taller until Satan hits his head on the wall, stuck)

*Wakko: You win.

*Satan: Blasted horns. I knew I should have gotten them trimmed.

*Yakko: Listen, if you're gonna hang around here all day, we're- we're gonna just take off.

(Satan gets unstuck, falls)

*Satan: I haven't had a day like this in some time.

(Thunder crashes)

*Satan: Halt, you miserable mortals.

*Yakko: Great trick.

(Warner Trio claps, then Yakko and Dot whistle)

*Wakko: Yeah, good one, all right. Do you know Siegfried and Roy?

*Dot: Do an impression.

*Yakko: Come on, do one. Do an impression.

*Dot: Yeah.

(Warner Trio claps)

*Satan: I'm really not very good at impressions.

*Wakko: Oh, come on.

*Dot: just do it. Just a couple. Go ahead.

*Satan: Okay, just a few. Here's Curly Howard on a visit to Wisconsin. Oh, Larry, jeez. Moe, Larry, cheese. Curly Howard of the three stooges, ladies and gentlemen. My next rendering, huh? Huh? No! Get off that boat. It goes to purgatory.

*Warner Trio (singing):

Purgatory, here we come,

So long hate and devil's glum.

*Yakko:

Where fires will spire into the night,

*Wakko and Dot:

Where boulders will smolder,

*Warner Trio:

Sizzling bright.

*Yakko:

The afterlife's cruel politics,

*Skull man:

Sends us on the river Styx

*Yakko:

At our feet flames take their licks

*All:

O purgatory, here we come

*Yakko (Spoken): well, I guess the worst of it is behind us.

(thunder crashing)

*Satan: Now, foolish mortals, you will know the awesome fury and power of my revenge. Prepare yourselves for an eternity of terror.

*Yakko: (As captain Kirk) Wakko, anything in your gag-bag that can handle this?

*Wakko: No, yakko.

*Yakko: Dot, comments, analysis.

*Dot: Nothing, yakko.

*Yakko: Bones.

*Bones: Darn it, Yakko, I'm a doctor, not a magician.

*Yakko: (in normal voice) Well, looks like it's up to me Freeze-frame!

(Everything freezes)

*Satan: (Growls) You've frozen everything. Do you have any idea how long it takes to get the pilot lit? Get out!

(Warner Trio gets kicked into heaven's entrance. On the entrance is "no soliciting")

*Wakko: Darn. This isn't six flags over flushing either.

(Yakko gets map out)

*Guy with halo: I am saint pe-

*Dot: Would you be a doll and hold that thought?

Moon Over Minerva[]

(Debussy's Arabesque no.1 plays, a male and female bird are together., a female and male rabbit touching noses, and a male and female frog croak together. All run when they hear singing.)

*Minerva Mink (singing, with scarf on head):

Doodle-dum-da, doodle-dee da-doodle-doodle-dee da-doodle-doodle-dee

It's not pretty being me.

Da-doodle-doodle-dee da-doodle-doodle-dee da-doodle, doodle-dee.

(Male bird wolf whistles, and swings around the branch. Apples as his pupils, the bird spits out coins. Female bird whacks him with an unopened umbrella. Bird falls. Minerva Mink takes key out of blouse, holding a book. Male bunny shoots up and turns into an accordion, pulls a string and turns into a rocket.)

*Minerva Mink (60fps): Dear diary, another lonely day is coming to a close, and I have not yet found that (sighs) special someone. (Takes off scarf, hair flows in glorious 60fps)

(Steam comes out of the male frog's ears, male frog jumps and hits rock, then gets top hat and dances. Female frog shoots him with cannon, depressedly)

*Minerva Mink (30fps): It seems so very unfair that I have no one to share life's tender moments. Someone warm and kind, with really rich parents (smiles). (sighs) Oh well, tomorrow's another day. Your faithful servant, Minerva Mink.

*Wilford Wolf (singing):

Doo, da-doo, da-doo, da-doo doo, uh-hoo,

Da-doo, da-doo da-doo, doo-doo, uh-hoo

Da-doo, da-doo, da-doo doo,

Da-doo, da-doo, da-doo doo,

Da-doo, da-doo, da-doo doo-doo, uh huh.

(spoken, with flowers in hand)

Minerva Mink, er, um, would you, uh, uh, uh, go out with-

*Minerva Mink: Wilford b. Wolf, are you asking me out on a date?

*Wilford Wolf: Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. (chuckles)

*Minerva Mink: I suppose I could wear something sleek and scandalous. (poses suggestively)

(Flowers wilter)

*Wilford Wolf: Ooh, I'd like that.

*Minerva Mink: And I suppose we'll take a long romantic walk under the starlight. (Walks swaying hips, puts hand on Wilford's nose)

*Wilford Wolf: Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. (Tenses, ducks escalate from back of neck, quacking)

*Minerva Mink: (Wraps tail around Wilford) And I'll probably cuddle up close and cozy.

*Wilford Wolf: Ooh (flaps ears).

*Minerva Mink: And whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

*Wilford Wolf: Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes (melts).

*Minerva Mink: Well, not in this life, bub (Runs away, spinning)!

*Wilford Wolf: I can't feel my legs (as a puddle).

*Minerva Mink: la, la, la, la la-la-la la, la-la, la-la dee-dee, dee-dee, dee-dee dee-dee, dee-dee, dee, dee.

*Wilford Wolf (singing): (Clears throat, with drum, saxophone set)

Be my love, my turtledove,

The pretty little mink I'm dreaming of

(Spoken)

Girls have an innate weakness for musicians.

(Singing)

My one and only sweetie pie.

*Minerva Mink: (With towel over her, splashes Wilford Wolf) Hit the road, jack! (No musicians)

*Wilford Wolf: Ain't she neat? (Hit with mouthpiece, hose and fire hydrant, then a literal fire truck). I wish Minerva would go out with me. I've tried everything I could. What else can I do but mourn my loss? (Howls on edge of hill)

*Minerva Mink (In sleek red outfit): That does it. This has got to stop.

*Wilford Wolf: (Howls) I'm feeling a tad strange. (Transforms, fangs, muscular, howls, full moon out.)

(Birds gasp, Wilford has light out of his eyes. Howls again. Female bunny has cartoon love hearts in her eyes and flies away using her ears. She circles around the male bunny, and digs down. A blue cone hat falls onto the male bunny. Female bird looks interested with her eyes bulging out and her pupils further. Female frog dances, and kicks away male frog. Wilford howls again.)

*Minerva Mink: I'm gonna give that howling fool a piece of my mind. All right, Wilford, I've had enough of this.

*Wilford Wolf (Refined voice): Oh, hi, Minerva.

*Minerva Mink: (Eyes and pupil check Wilford out, then come back, leaving Minerva dumbstruck) Hammina, hammina, hammina. (cheering, dances around, slaps herself, breathes sharply) Don't budge. I'll be right back.

*Wilford Wolf: What's gotten into that gal? (Transforms back, sneezes, clouds cover full moon) I must be coming down with something.

*Minerva Mink (In red, sleek outfit again): Sorry about that, lover-boy. I wanted to slip into something more... comfy. You like?

*Wilford Wolf: You look peachy, minerva, simply peachy.

*Minerva Mink: (gasps) You? What did you do with him?

*Wilford Wolf: Who?

*Minerva Mink: Him. Where is he (Checks under Wilford, around tree)? Oh, lover-boy? (Checks under boulder) Where are you? (Checks under ocean) Ollie, ollie, oxygen free! Just my luck (Sits down sadly). I finally meet the hunk of my dreams and- and he gets scared off by mondo-nerdo over there.

(Wilford transforms into werewolf, full moon.)

*Minerva Mink: What a life. (Sees Wilford, in lust-filled voice) Yahooey! My man! (Minerva Mink melts into a puddle)

*Wilford Wolf: My, you're acting mighty strange (Dries Minerva like a towel, reforms her). Maybe tonight's not a good night to... take a long romantic walk under the starlight.

*Minerva Mink: (Heart beats, head flies up, but is caught.) Ooh, I'd like that.

*Wilford Wolf: We can snuggle up close and cozy (Wraps Minerva into his chest with his arms).

*Minerva Mink: Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. Oh, boy. (Falls down, stands up)

(Wilford transforms into normal, clouds.)

*Minerva Mink: Oh, boy. (collapses, stands up again).

(Wilford transforms into werewolf, full moon out)

*Wilford Wolf: I'll whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

*Minerva Mink: (Shrieks in delight, lustful voice) Kiss me, baby! (Kisses passionately)

(Wilford transforms into normal as it is daytime)

*Wilford Wolf: (howls)

*Minerva Mink: Wilford! What? Wh--? Say, what kind of crazy wolf are you, anyway?

*Wilford Wolf: Were.

*Minerva Mink: Were? You're a werewolf?

*Wilford Wolf: Yup.

*Minerva Mink: Wilford?

*Wilford Wolf: Yes, Minerva?

*Minerva Mink: When is the next full moon gonna be?

*Wilford Wolf: According to most lunar calendars, every 28 days (shows chart from nowhere).

*Minerva Mink: Good things are worth waiting for. (Flutters eyes)

Intermission:[]

*Warner Trio:

It's the mr. Skullhead show,

Starring him, mr. Skullhead,

Because it's his show that he has mr. Skullhead.

(mr. Skullhead spins rapidly and flies into ceiling. Bones make mr. Skullhead in words.)

Skullhead Boneyhands[]

(Car enters ominous place on top of mountain)

*Woman: Ooh, interesting. Alon calling.

(Door opens)

*Woman: Oh. Hello. Alon. Hello? (gasps) Oh, my goodness. You have bony hands.

(Mr. Skullhead nods)

*Woman: I can help you. You'd better come home with me.

(Door shuts)

*Woman: You must be so hungry. You're nothing but skin and bones.

(Mr. Skullhead shakes his head as to say no)

*Woman: Oh... you're right. You're nothing but bones. (chuckles) You'll have dinner with my family. But first, I'm going to highlight your bone structure. Alon has developed a whole new line of cosmetics, and I've been dying-- oh, sorry. (Slaps makeup on mr. Skullhead) I've wanted to try it out. Hm. I'd better call my Alon distributor on this one. I don't know what to do when a client is skinless.

(Mr. Skullhead drinks milk, which falls onto chair underneath him)

*Man: Son, you can stay here with us, but you'll have to make your own living. Now, do you have any special skills?

(Mr. Skull head nods, reaches hand out and a dog bites his thumb-bone off)

*Woman: Look what he can do with his bony hands.

(Dog drags mr. Skullhead away, causing books turned over, chairs turned over. Head knocked off, and Skullhead's body is dragged into the yard.)

*Woman: Skullhead Boneyhands has a way with dogs, doesn't he? Oh, look how happy Skullhead Boneyhands has made dog!

(Head gets buried)

*Woman: Oh. Well, I guess that's the end of Skullhead Boneyhands, everybody.

*Daughter: Great. And I was gonna marry him.

*Warner Trio (singing):

That's the mr. Skullhead show,

Starring him, mr. Skullhead.

And it's the end of the show that he has,

Mr. Skullhead

End[]

(Animaniacs theme instrumental)

*Wakko: Wanna see me make bubbles with my spit?

*Yakko: Uhh... maybe later.

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