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Theme song[]

(music)

*Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

It's time for Animaniacs

And we're zany to the max

So just sit back and relax.

You'll laugh till you collapse.

We're Animaniacs!

*Yakko and Wakko:

Come join the Warner Brothers

*Dot:

And the Warner Sister Dot

*Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

Just for fun, we run around the Warner movie lot.

They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught.

But we break loose and then vamoose and now you know the plot.

We're Animaniacs

Dot is cute and Yakko yaks.

Wakko packs away the snacks

While Bill Clinton plays the sax

We're Animaniacs

Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe.

Goodfeathers flock together, Slappy whacks them with her purse.

Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse.

The writers flipped, We have no script,

Why bother to rehearse?

*All:

We're Animaniacs

We have pay-or-play contracts

We're zany to the max

There's baloney in our slacks!

We're Animanie-

Totally insane-y

*Dot:

Come back Chane-y

*All:

Animaniacs! Those are the facts!

Clown and Out[]

*Thaddeus Plotz: Now, I-- I'm well aware that Wakko can be extremely difficult at times. Nevertheless, it is his birthday today, so I want you to go on up to the water tower and surprise him. Do your little birthday show skit thing.

*Director (in clown costume): Oh, for the boy? Make a surprise? I just love making a surprise.

*Thaddeus Plotz: (Scared eyes) I-I-I-I, I want you to go away now. You frighten me!

*Director: You shouldn't be frightened of me, mr. Man. I'm just a clown. Fine Goten-maven schoil!

*Thaddeus Plotz: (Runs, opens door) Aagh! Please, please, I'm begging you. Get out. Get out.

*Director: Oh, poor mr. Man. ("You'll never walk alone" playing)

(singing)

When you want to scream

Put away that frown,

And never be scared of a clown,

Laugh on, laugh on laugh on and on and on.

You'll never laugh alone.

*Thaddeus Plotz (spoken): Out, clown! (Throws away Director and closes the door, sighs)

(Change scene)

*Thaddeus Plotz: A clown is my friend.

*Otto: A clown will not bite me und throw me in the basement.

*Thaddeus Plotz: A clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.

*Otto: A clown is not a big schpider.

*Thaddeus Plotz: A clown is not a big spider. I feel so silly. A grown man scared of clowns.

*Otto: No, no, on ze contrary. Many peoples has the fear of the clowns. The zychological term is "clownophobia." Pn fact, wakko has one of the most extreme cases of clownophobia I have ever seen.

*Thaddeus Plotz: Wakko?

*Otto: Oh, ja, ja. Wakko's fear of clowns- his clownophobia, if you will. -is so great that he becomes kooky and extremely unpredictable. (laughs) Oh, I'd hate to see ze clown that meets up with wakko.

*Thaddeus Plotz: (smirks) Uh-oh.

*Director (singing, climbing up water tower ladder):

When the whippoorwill whippers in the wind

The wind can whipper back

Oh, nice and chubby baby!

*Wakko: Okay, I'm it. 1, 3, 7, 10,

(Yakko and Dot look around,

*Wakko: 15, 20, 25,

(Yakko takes off lamp head, revealing Dot with her mouth in a lightbulb end.)

*Wakko: 30, 35, 40, 45, 50, 55,

(Yakko and Dot run to a different hiding place)

*Wakko: 60, 65, 70, 75, 80, 85,

(Yakko and Dot hide in cupboards, switching which one.)

*Wakko: 90, 95! 100! Ready or not, here I come.

(doorbell rings)

*Wakko: I'll get it. Can I help you?

*Director: Happy birthday, nice puppy boy!

*Wakko: Clown (slams door)!

*Director: (garbled) That hurt my face.

*Wakko: (panting)

(doorbell rings)

*Wakko: Clown!

(doorbell rings)

*Director: Oh, little puppy boy.

*Wakko: go away! You scare me!

*Director: Me? I make with fright? I scare?

(Singing)

When you want to scream put away that frown,

And never be scared of-

(Whacked with Wakko's mallet)

A clown...

Laugh on and on and oooon!

(Falls off water tower, crashes into ground)

(Spoken)

I wish the ground was mushy and soft

(Singing, climbs ladder again)

When the whippoorwill whippers in the wind

The wind can whipper back

Oh, nice and chubby baby!

(doorbell rings)

(Spoken)

Oh, little boy, come out. But don't with the mallet hurt. I'll make balloon "Aminals."

*Wakko: Go away, clown man.

*Director: (Makes cat balloon animal) Oy, look, a little kitty cat. Meowy-meow.

*Wakko: go away!

*Dot: Why is it taking wakko so long to find us?

*Yakko: Beats me.

*Director: (Makes dog balloon animal) A puppy. Hello, I'm a puppy. Bark-laven-woof!

*Wakko: Can you make a little cannon?

*Director: Yeah, I think so. There. A cannon.

(Wakko shoots the cannon at Director.)

*Director: It blowed up at me (falls into building).

*Thaddeus Plotz: Whoa-ho-ho, boy! He really got the clown that time.

*Director: Oy, I gotta go home.

*Thaddeus Plotz: Hey! Where do you think you're going, clown? I paid you to do an hour show.

*Director: But the puppy boy, he hurts with the mallet and a balloon. Boom.

*Thaddeus Plotz: Get back to that water tower!

*Director: Oh, please, no. I'm not a well clown.

*Thaddeus Plotz: Go!

*Director: Yeah, bye.

*Thaddeus Plotz: Oh, baby, is that clown gonna get it. Yes!

*Otto: There, there, mr. Plotz. I think we need to go back to ze couch, ja?

*Director (riding in car): Hey, little birthday boy. I got my little clown car. Froinlaven, froinlaven! Wanna see it? Oh, the nice boy opened the door. (Accelerates off the platform) I'm in the sky. (crashes into ground) I don't wanna do this no more.

(car sputtering)

*Director: Boy, don't hurt me no more. Oyl! Don't with the booms! Does this mean no booms? (echoes) boy? (Goes in water tower)

*Wakko: (Shuts door, removes disguise. That water tower is revealed to be a rocket.)

*Director: Oh, puppy boy (bangs door).

*Wakko: Bye-bye, mr. Clown.

*Director: Fine Goten-maven schoil (launches into space)!

*Yakko: Hey, Wakko!

*Dot: Are you gonna look for us, or what?

*Wakko: I had to get rid of the clown. You're it! (Tags Yakko)

*Otto: A clown is my friend.

*Both: a clown is my friend.

*Otto: a clown will not bite me and throw me in ze basement.

*Both: a clown will not bite me and throw me in the basement.

(Clown on Mars)

Clown (singing):

When the whippoorwill whippers in the wind

The wind can whipper back

*Martians:

Oh, nice and chubby baby!

*Clown (spoken): I like it here.

Pinky and The Brain intro[]

(music)

*Pinky: Gee, Brain, whaddaya wanna do tonight?

*The Brain: The same thing we do every night, pinky. Try to take over the world.

*Chorus:

They're Pinky and The Brain,

They're pinky and the brain,

One is a genius the other's insane,

To prove their mousy worth

They'll overthrow the earth,

They're dinky, they're Pinky and The Brain, brain, brain, brain, brain

Bubba Bo Bob Brain[]

*The Brain: Pinky, I believe I have conceived my most brilliant plan to date. I shall use subliminal mind control to take over the world. Pinky?

*TV (Reporter): Today's inside story is country megastar Willy Rae Cyprus.

*Willy Rae: Don't tell my head my empty, hollow head

*Pinky & Willy Rae: You know I wouldn't understand

*Willy Rae: Yep, yep, yep

*Pinky: Narf!

*Willy Rae: Yep yep yep, yep

*The Brain: It must be inordinately taxing to be such a boob.

*Pinky: You have no idea.

*The Brain: Pinky, do you know what a subliminal message is?

*Pinky: Something you leave on a subliminal telephone answering machine?

*The Brain: No, it is a recorded message perceived only by the subconscious human mind. I have recorded such a message.

*The Brain (over recorder): citizens of the world, you are under my control. You will do whatever I say.

*Pinky: Nice mix, but it's not exactly danceable, is it?

*The Brain:If people heard this message enough times, they would succumb to my control and we could take over the world. What do you think, Pinky?

*Pinky: I think I'm getting dizzy, and I rather like it. (laughing)

*The Brain: Sometimes you hurt my head, Pinky.

(Pinky yelps and falls off disc, crashes)

*The Brain: The only problem, how to get this message repeated, worldwide airplay?

*Willy Rae:

Don't tell my head,

My empty, hollow head,

You know I wouldn't understand

*Woman 1: I just adore Willy Rae.

*Woman 2: I listen to his song 20 times a day

*The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering?

*Pinky: Well, I think so, brain, but burlap chafes me so.

*The Brain: Country music, Pinky. I will go to Nashville and become the biggest country-music star of all-time. Everyone will hear my record and my subliminal message, and I will take over the world.

*Pinky: Egad, brain! Oh, but, no, no. It takes people years of hard work to become famous, brain. Why, take Kathie Lee Gifford for example. She did community theater and- guh (hit by stick)

*The Brain: Stop talking, Pinky. I must think. I have calculated every ingredient necessary to become a country-music megastar. Read me the list, Pinky.

*Pinky: A "Cowboy hat."

*The Brain: Check.

*Pinky: A "Southern dialect."

*The Brain: Check, y'all.

*Pinky: Nice, Brain. "Working-class values."

*The Brain: I enjoy beef jerky and the comedy stylings of gallagher. Check.

*Pinky: "A song."

*The Brain: Check.

*Pinky: "A name consisting of not less than three words."

*The Brain: From now on, I shall be bubba bo bob Brain. Check.

*Pinky: And "A height of at least six feet."

*The Brain: A-... drat. There must be some way for me to increase my height.

*Pinky: Hmm. Let me think. (Hits head)

*The Brain: Don't hurt yourself, pinky.

(Pinky pants, spinning thread)

*The Brain: Faster Pinky, faster.

(Pinky yelps, gets caught in thread.)

*The Brain: You amaze me, Pinky.

*Pinky: I do my best.

*The Brain: Proceed, Pinky.

(Pants go up)

*The Brain: Ki-yi-yippee-yi-yo. How do I look?

*Pinky: Oh, very nice, Brain.

*The Brain: It's bubba bo bob Brain. You are my manager, colonel Pinky. You discovered me playing guitar on the front porch of my humble pig farm. Any questions?

*Pinky: Oh, just one. When you farm humble pigs, how far apart do you have to plant them?

*The Brain: If I could reach you, I would hurt you. But for now, on to Nashville.

*Pinky: On to Nashville!

*The Brain: (Hits into wall) This is a pain that is going to linger.

(The Brain goes to airport)

*The Brain: Two tickets to Nashville, please.

*Woman 3: Ooh-wee. You're a tall drink of water, ain't ya, darling?

*The Brain: Actually, I am a lab mouse on stilts.

*Woman 3: At least he didn't ask me to pull his finger.

*Pinky: Egad, bippie boop bop Brain. Road trips are so exciting.

*The Brain: It's bubba bo bob brain, Pinky.

*Pinky: Right. Sorry. Zort!

*The Brain: Concentrate, Pinky. Concentrate (slams head on wall). Yes. This pain will definitely be with me a while.

(In Nashville, Warner Trio run from Ralph who has a guitar.)

*Pinky: The "Rowdy ranch nightclub." What are we doing here, boobie baa baa Brain?

*The Brain: It's bubba bo bob Brain. And according to statistics, an inordinate number of country western superstars have gotten their start at this very establishment.

*Pinky: Egad! (gasps) do you suppose Minnie Pearl performed here?

*The Brain: One can only hope (head hits wall).

(playing slow country music)

*Singer:

I am a telephone repairman from this area

*The Brain: When I give the signal, play the subliminal-message tape.

*Pinky: Right-o, bippie bebop balloola.

*The Brain: Sometimes you frighten me, pinky.

(Crowd applauding)

*Host: And now a newcomer, bubba bo bob Brain.

*The Brain: Howdy, you all. Here's a little ditty I wrote. Hope you enjoy it, you all.

(Playing slow country music)

*The Brain (singing):

I am a lab mouse I escaped from my cage

Never had a job never earned minimum wage

*Man: He ain't half bad.

*Woman: Ain't half good either.

*The Brain:

But you will respect me, yes,

Once my plan is unfurled

You will call me your leader,

I'll be king of the world

(Spoken)

Now, Pinky.

*Brain (over recorder): citizens of the world, you are under my control. You will do whatever l say.

*The Brain: Buy my record and listen to it 20 times a day

*Man: Let's buy his record.

*Woman: And listen to it 20 times a day.

(People take all sales of The Brain's song.)

*TV announcer 1: I don't know about y'all, but I can't get enough of (snaps fingers) bubba bo bob Brain. Let's hear it again. (Snaps fingers)

*TV announcer 2: Well, he's the hottest thing to hit Nashville since my mama's jalapeño grits. Here's bubba bo bob Brain.

(crowd applauds)

*Woman: I'm your biggest fan. What do you say to that?

*The Brain: I'd say puberty was inordinately kind to you.

*Woman: (chuckles) Go on.

*Men: yee-haw!

(Both laughing)

*Girl: Hey, bubba bo bob Brain. I just got back from France.

*The Brain: How'd you find it?

*The Brain: I used a map.

(both laugh, crowd laughs)

*Male announcer: And the country tune award for best male vocal goes to...

*Female announcer: Bubba bo bob Brain!

*Pinky: Egad! Yippee! Narf! (laughs)

*The Brain: You're embarrassing me, pinky. Pardon my effervescence, but your accolade is more than any bucolic mouse merits.

*Female announcer: What's he saying? I don't know.

*The Brain: I'd like to thank my mama and Elvis.

*Female announcer: Oh, how nice.

*Male announcer: Well, isn't that nice?

*Mary: I'm outside the grand ole opry where tonight's concert featuring country-music sensation bubba bo bob Brain is being televised worldwide. In two words: bubba is hot (winks).

(playing slow country music)

*Singer:

You gotta know how to cut 'em

Know how to shuffle

Know how to deal the cards

Before you play fish with me

*The Brain: Do you realize what will happen if the world hears my song just one more time?

*Pinky: An angel will get its wings?

*The Brain: No, Pinky. My subliminal message will take permanent hold, and the world will be under my control.

*Pinky: Oh, that.

*The Brain: Now, do you remember what you have to do?

*Pinky: Yes. I need to make a dental appointment. I have horrible plaque buildup.

*The Brain: The tape, Pinky, the tape.

*Pinky: Oh, right. When you give the signal, I play the tape.

*Singer: and now I'd like to introduce

*The Brain: This is it. I'm on.

*Pinky: Good luck, booba bip bop brain.

*The Brain: How many times do I have to tell you? My name is-

*Singer: bubba bo bob Brain.

(applause, cheering)

*The Brain:Y ee-haw. Let's start this hootenanny.

(playing slow country music, singing.)

I am a lab mouse

I escaped from my cage,

Never had a job

Never earned minimum wage

But you will respect me, yes

Once my plan is unfurled

*Audience:

You will call me your leader

I'll be king of the world

*The Brain (spoken): Now, Pinky.

*Brain (over recorder): You are under my control. You will do whatever I say.

*Audience: I will do whatever he says.

*All: Whatever he says. Whatever he says. Whatever he says.

*Pinky: Way to go, blubber boo bean Brain. Narf!

*The Brain: Do me a favor and forget my name. While you're at it, forget you ever knew me.

*Audience: Hey! Who's that skinny guy on-stage? Who is he? Get him off!

(crowd shouting)

*Audience: (jeering) Boo! I wanna see someone famous! (gasps) (audience hissing and booing)

*Mary: Tonight's inside story. A complete unknown somehow made it onto the stage at the grand ole opry.

*The Brain: Turn that off, Pinky. I'm trying to concentrate on a better plan for tomorrow night.

*Pinky: Why, Brain? What are we going to do tomorrow night?

*The Brain: Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.

*Chorus (singing): They're Pinky, they're pinky and the Brain, brain, brain, brain, brain

Wheel of Morality[]

*Yakko: It's that time again.

*Wakko: To remember the alamo?

*Dot: To do another one of our cute little skits?

*Yakko: No. It's time to learn the day's lesson. And to find out what it is, we turn to... the wheel of morality. Wheel of morality, turn, turn, turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn. Moral number three. And the moral of today's story is, Elvis lives on in our hearts, in his music, and in a trailer park outside Milwaukee.

*Dot: I'm speechless.

*Wakko: Sort of gets you right here, doesn't it? (burps) Pardon.

(whistle)

*Warner Trio: Yike!

(Ralph chases)

End[]

(Animaniacs theme instrumental)

*Warner Trio: Fla-meel!

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