Opening Segment[]
(Slappy Squirrel is on a stage, holding a bouquet of flowers. There are spotlights on her.)
*Announcer: On stage, at the Pantages Theater, now through February 30th! The theatrical event of the decade! Oh, oh Ethel! Starring the beloved Slappy Squirrel, in the one-woman show about the life, the love, and the music of Ethel Merman!
*Slappy: Ethel Merman? I thought this was about Ethel Mertz! I’m outta here.
(The spotlight follows Slappy as she walks off stage. Someone pushes Slappy back on stage.)
*Person Offstage: Just sing.
*Slappy: You gotta be kiddin’ me.
(The crowd applauds.)
*Slappy: Ah, for cryin’ out loud. Alright. (coughs) Here goes. (singing out of tune) There’s a great business, this here show business. So let’s get down with the little skit already!
(The crowd boos and throws tomatoes, which pile onto Slappy.)
*Announcer: You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll throw farm-fresh produce at Slappy Squirrel in: Oh, oh Ethel!
(Slappy sticks her head out of the tomatoes.)
*Slappy: My agent’s going to get an oh, oh upside his head!
Theme Song[]
(music)
*Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
It's time for Animaniacs
And we're zany to the max
So just sit back and relax.
You'll laugh till you collapse.
We're Animaniacs!
*Yakko and Wakko:
Come join the Warner Brothers
*Dot:
And the Warner Sister Dot
*Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
Just for fun, we run around the Warner movie lot.
They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught.
But we break loose and then vamoose and now you know the plot.
We're Animaniacs
Dot is cute and Yakko yaks.
Wakko packs away the snacks
While Bill Clinton plays the sax
We're Animaniacs
Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe.
Goodfeathers flock together, Slappy whacks them with her purse.
Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse.
The writers flipped, We have no script, Why bother to rehearse?
*All:
We're Animaniacs
We have pay-or-play contracts
We're zany to the max
There's baloney in our slacks!
We're Animanie-,
Totally insane-y...
*Yakko:
Eisenhower, Mamie
*Warners:
Animaniacs! Those are the facts!
Intermission[]
(Yakko and Dr. Scratchansniff are in the psychiatric building, in Otto’s office. They are both at his desk, and Otto is holding pieces of paper.)
*Otto: Yakko, it’s time to take ze ink blot test. Now tell me, what does this remind you of?
(Otto holds up an ink blot.)
*Yakko: Girls.
(Otto shows another ink blot that looks somewhat like a car.)
*Otto: What does this remind you of?
*Yakko: Girls.
(Otto shows an ink blot that looks exactly like a hamburger.)
*Otto: What does this remind you of?
*Yakko: Uhhhhhhh, girls.
(Otto gets frustrated.)
*Otto: You are obsessed with girls!
*Yakko: (standing up in chair, leaning on desk) Hey, you’re the one showing me all the sexy pictures.
(Otto groans, Yakko picks up the papers.)
*Yakko: Hey doc, you know what this one reminds me of?
*Otto: What?
*Yakko: The next cartoon!
(The screen zooms into the paper, which is black.)
Pinky and the Brain Intro[]
(music)
*Pinky: Gee, Brain, whaddaya wanna do tonight?
(Pinky runs on wheel.)
*The Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world.
*Chorus:
They're Pinky and The Brain
(Brain unlocks cage.)
They're Pinky and The Brain
(The Brain writes the theory of everything, Pinky jumps around in straightjacket.)
One is a genius
The other's insane
To prove their mousey worth,
(Both get zapped)
They'll overthrow the Earth.
They're dinky, they're Pinky and
The Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain.
Meet John Brain[]
(At Acme Labs, Brain and Pinky are working on a poster. Pinky is using a pulley system attached to popsicle sticks with rubber bands to lower and lift the platform, while Brain draws with a pencil.)
*Pinky: What’s tonight’s plan to take over the world, Brain? (lifts platform) A gizmo? (lifts platform) Zort! A thingy? (lifts platform)
*Brain: Your scientific jargon staggers me, Pinky. Tonight, Pinky, we will not rely on science, but rather, we will play the world’s game. Do you know what that game is?
*Pinky: Ummm, Mystery Date? Uh, Twister? [jumping up and down) Narf! Ooh, I love Twister, (lets go of pulley, which unwinds) Right foot red! (puts his hands on the ground)
*Brain: (tosses pencil) The cable, Pinky! The cable!
(Their platform falls and hits the ground. Brain pulls his face, which is now flat, off the platform.)
*Brain: Pinky, once I take over the world, (pulling on nose) Remind me to publicly snub you. (unflattens face)
*Pinky: (shakily) Narf! Duly noted, Brain.
*Brain: Pinky, the world’s game is politics. And I plan to win this game by running for president!
(The screen zooms out to show a poster that says John Brain for president.)
*Brain: And once I am ensconced in the White House, I will take over the world!
*Pinky: Naaaarf…
(The scene changes to show a camera set at a television broadcast. A man and a woman are there.j
*Larry: Larry Kling live here with Suzanne Slimmers and the thigh monster. Let’s take some calls for Suzanne. Hello.
*Caller: Suzanne, how do you stay looking so good?
*Suzanne: Three words. Thigh monster! (giggles)
(Suzanne grabs a small piece of workout equipment from the counter. She uses it under her arms.)
*Larry: I could watch that for hours. Hello, Walla Walla Washington.
(Pinky and the Brain are at their own miniature television set, with a small couch and a background held up by clips. Brain is wearing a suit, while Pinky is holding two plugs near an outlet.)
*Brain: Now, Pinky.
(Pinky plugs them together. They electrocute him. At Larry’s set, a TV is shown with green static.)
*Larry: Go ahead, Walla Walla.
*Brain: (on TV) Hello. I am not Walla Walla. My name is John Brain, and while I find Suzanne’s interest captivating, I am here for another purpose.
*Larry: And, uh, what might that be?
*Brain: Larry, I would like to announce my candidacy for president of the United States!
*Larry: You’re running for president, Mr. Brain? Now, why are you doing that?
*Brain: I plan to take over the world!
(Larry and Suzanne laugh.)
*Larry: Keep that sense of humor, you’ll need it on the campaign trail.
*Suzanne: You’ll also need a thigh monster!
(Suzanne uses the thigh monster. A newspaper is shown with the headline mystery man enters race. Underneath it is a picture of Brain. The scene changes to a large room with many reporters and a TV in the front. There are many cameras pointing at the TV.)
*Reporter: We’re expecting the independent candidate for president, John Brain, to speak with reporters by remote broadcast any moment now.
(The TV turns on to show the Brain, still in a suit.)
*Brain: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen of the press. Your questions?
(Many people raise their hands and talk excitedly. A lady stands up to speak. Yakko is pictured among the reporters, with a microphone.)
*Lady: Mr. Brain, have you chosen a running mate to be your Vice President?
*Brain: Yes I have.
(Brain reaches to the side of the screen and pulls out Pinky, who is wearing a uniform with many badges.)
*Brain: Admiral Pinky!
*Pinky: Narf! (laughs)
(Brain faceplants.)
*Pinky: What am I doin’ here? (continues laughing) Naaaarf..
(Brain pushes Pinky out of view. A man stands up to speak.)
*Man: Mr. Brain, why have you not yet appeared in public?
*Brain: I have been developing my plan for the presidency.
(The man writes on a clipboard.)
*Man: Uh-huh. And what is it, sir?
(Brain lifts up the top piece of paper in a stack. He points to it with a wooden pointer.)
*Brain: I want to A, cut the deficit. (lifts next piece of paper) B, lower taxes. (lifts next piece of paper) And C, take over the world!
(The whole report room laughs. People are shown in a diner, laughing, watching the report on TV.)
*Man In Diner: I like him!
*Woman on TV: Mr. Brain, you seem to have very large ears and a red nose and fur growing on your head. There are concerns about your health.
*Brain: I am as healthy as the next mouse. As long as I avoid cats. (laughs)
(Nobody else in the room gets the joke, or anybody in the diner.)
*Man In Diner: Now what do you suppose he means by that?
*Woman In Diner: Well he doesn’t mean a real mouse, he means, uh, the little guy, like you and me! And cats, well he means fat cats, the bureaucratic fat cats, yeah!
*Man In Diner: Ohh. I like him.
*Woman In Diner: Me too.
(The woman takes out John Brain badges, and puts them on herself and the man in diner. They both laugh. Another newspaper is shown, with the headline John Brain gains in polls. Under the headline there is a picture of Brain and Pinky, both dressed how they appeared on TV. The scene changes, and he is on a TV video call with Barbara Walters.)
*Barbara: Mr. Brain, you’ve captivated the voters’ common sense, but what about you personally? Are you married?
*Brain: Yes. Let me introduce my lovely wife, Pinkinia.
(Pinky comes on stage dressed as a woman.)
*Pinky: (high pitched) Hello Barbara! Zort! I am woman! Hear me roar! (laughs, jumps on Brain’s lap) Narf! (continues laughing)
(Brain looks at the camera, unpleased. The scene changes to a commercial for the campaign. Brain is on top of a text box that says honesty. An American flag waves in the background while music plays. This commercial is on a TV in the window of a store.)
*Man: Hey look! It’s John Brain’s new commercial!
(A small crowd gathers in front of the TV.)
*Brain: When I take over the country, everyone will work for me!
*Man 2: He means jobs! For everyone!
(The same commercial is shown at a family dinner table with people eating,)
*Brain: If people opposes me, I’ll teach them a lesson!
*Mom: Thank goodness. He’s for better education!
(The same commercial is shown in a nursing home. Elderly people in wheelchairs are sitting around the TV, and Hello Nurse is behind them.)
*Brain: So surrender quietly and no one will be hurt!
*Man: Uh, no one will be sick! Yes! Healthcare! (wheezes) Great healthcare!
*Patients and Nurse: I like him!
(Another newspaper is shown with the headline Brain leads polls. Under the headline is a picture of Brain.)
*Pinky: (reading out loud) Brain leads polls! Egad, Brain! Narf! It looks like you’re going to win! You’ll be president, Brain!
*Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?
*Pinky: I think so, Brain, but this time you put the trousers on the chimp.
*Brain: It’s amazing you haven’t ruined my campaign, Pinky.
*Pinky: (laughs) I can only do so much, Brain.
*Brain: I think, Pinky, the time has come to finally greet my public in person! It’s time for them to meet John Brain!
(A stadium with the banner meet John Brain tonight is shown, many cars are in the parking lot. There is a crowd inside.)
*Corwd: (chanting) We want John Brain! We want John Brain! We want John Brain!
(There are banners in the crowd saying various states, except one that says Jupitep. Brain and Pinky are shown backstage.)
*Brain: (to Pinky) Listen. The winds of change blow steady, my friend, waiting for one thing! Do you know what that thing is?
*Pinky: Uh, someone with a kite? Zort!
(Brain looks at the camera, unamused. He bops Pinky on the head with his fist.
*Brain: No, Pinky, me! Waiting for me! This is it! We will succeed! Announce me.
(Pinky crawls up a microphone stand to the microphone.)
*Pinky: Is this thing on? Please welcome, Narf! Our next president! Mr. Joooooooohn Brain!
(The whole crowd cheers. The man and woman from the diner and shown in the crowd. They have flags and other gear of John Brain. When Brain walks out, the applause quiets. Brain climbs up a small lander and stands on his presidential podium. There is a mouse-sized podium on top, which he moves in front of him.)
*Brain: Greetings!
*Crowd: (gasp)
*Woman From Diner: He really is a mouse!
(One man in the crowd starts laughing. The rest of the crowd is booing, including the man and the woman from the diner.)
*Brain: Please, I-
(He sees every single person in the crowd booing at him.)
*Brain: But- but, when I take over the world, I promise to rule in a fair and just manner.
(A single tomato is thrown at him from the crowd. He dodges it and it splats on the poster behind him. Brain looks forward, just in time to dodge a second tomato. A third one hits him in the face. Later, the empty stadium is shown. There are ripped up pieces of paper and litter on the ground. Brain is still standing at his podium, and he still has tomato on his face. He sighs and leans his face against the microphone. The scene changes to a news broadcast.)
Reporter: Since revealing himself as a fraud, John Brain has fallen to nowhere in the polls.
(Pinky and the Brain and shown back in the lab, watching this news on a TV. Brain is shown on a graph with Chicken Boo.)
*Brain: Turn that off, Pinky.
*Reporter: But a newcomer, a Mr. Boo, is climbing in the-
(Pinky turns off TV.)
*Brain: I need to concentrate on a more scientific plan for tomorrow night.
*Pinky: Why, Brain, what are we going to do tomorrow night?
(Brain stops, then turns around.)
*Brain: You know.
*Singers:
They’re dinky,
They’re Pinky and the Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain, Brain.
Slappy the Squirrel Intro[]
*Warners:
The crankiest of creatures in the whole wide world,
Our next cartoon features Slappy the Squirrel!
*Slappy: Enough with the singin’ already!
*Warners: That’s Slappy!
Smell Ya Later[]
(Slappy’s house is seen. Skippy walks out, towards the yard across the street. In the yard, there are two doghouses. A basset hound is lying in front of the doghouse labeled Stinkbomb, grooming himself. The other doghouse is labeled Bumpo. A smaller basset hound comes out of the other doghouse.)
*Bumpo: Hi Grandpa Stinky.
*Stinky: Oh, hi Bumpo. (continues grooming self)
*Bumpo: Watcha doin’?
*Stinky: Chewin’ for foodies!
*Bumpo: Can I help?
*Stinky: No. Don’t be disgusting.
*Bumpo: (sniffs Stinky)
*Stinky: And don’t sniff me, Bumpo, it’s impolite! You have to ask first.
*Bumpo: Sorry Grandpa Stinky. May I sniff ya?
*Stinky: No, don’t be weird. Grandkids. (sighs, continues grooming self)
(Bumpo sees some acorns lying in the yard. Then he sees Skippy walk by.)
*Skippy: Hello.
*Bumpo: Hi. (tail wags)
(Skippy walks back with a lot of acorns.)
*Skippy: Well, so long.
*Bumpo: Bye! Grandpa, what’s that?
*Stinky: What’s what? (sees Skippy, gasps) Why, Bumpo, that’s one of those horrible vicious tree squirrels! Meanest creatures on the planet Earth! And a basset hound’s natural born enemy. (crouches down)
*Bumpo: Ohhhhh.
*Stinky: It’s our sworn duty to chase ‘em, catch ‘em, and shake ‘em like rag dolls! (shakes his head)
*Bumpo: Why?
*Stinky: I dunno. It’s what we do. Now watch and learn, your Grandpa Stinky will show you how to mangle that nasty squirrel. (front feet go) I’m off! (back feet go) No, I’m not. (front feet go) Yes I am. (all feet go) No wait, here we go. I’m off! (runs after Skippy)
*Bumpo: Go get ‘em, Grandpa! Grandpa Stinky’s my hero.
(Skippy is walking back towards his yard. He hears barking, and sees Stinky running after him. Skippy screams and runs, still holding his nuts. He runs inside the open door of his house, then closes it behind him. Stinky runs into and flattens himself on the door. He falls off the door, still flat. Bumpo runs up to him.)
*Bumpo: That was great, Grandpa Stinky, you almost got him! May I sniff you now?
*Stinky: No. Take me to the vet.
(Stinky blows and his legs pop out. He walks away, still flattened. Inside the treehouse, Slappy is watching TV in her chair. Skippy walks over to her.)
*Slappy: Skippy, I’m dyin’ of starvation here! You got my hazelnuts or what?
*Skippy: Uh-huh. Bleh.
(Skippy opens his mouth, the acorns are on his tongue.)
*Slappy: Sorry. but I’m on a low-saliva diet.
(Slappy pushes Skippy’s tongue back into his mouth. Skippy swallows the hazelnuts.)
*Slappy: Get some more.
*Skippy: I can’t, Aunt Slappy, there’s dogs guarding the nuts!
(Skippy looks out the window with binoculars, and Slappy gets up from her chair and walks over.)
*Slappy: Let me see, here.
(Skippy gives the binoculars to Slappy, who looks out the window with them.)
*Slappy: Oh yeah, my old enemy, Stinkbomb the Basset. He co-starred with me in Something Smells Funny, 1943, directed by Laslo Flute. What a hack. Here’s a clip.
(Slappy pulls down a screen, a cartoon is shown with Stinky chasing Slappy. Slappy runs into a cave.)
*Slappy: Right this way, pal!
(Stinky chases her into the cave. He’s in the dark, so only his eyes are visible. He sees another pair of eyes.)
*Stinky: Gotcha.
(Stinky lights a match, to show that he’s holding a skunk.)
*Skunk: Guess again.
(The skunk holds its tail up to Stinky’s face. He looks to see that the whole cave is full of skunks. A green cloud comes out of the cave, indicating Stinky got sprayed. Slappy pushes the screen aside.)
*Slappy: Haha, he hasn’t smelled the same since. Tell ya what, Skippy, let’s both go next door and gets some nuts.
*Skippy: But what about the dog?
*Slappy: I don’t know. I might let him live, we’ll see.
*Skippy: (opens door) Aw, that’s nice of you, Aunt Slappy.
(She goes outside, he follows.)
*Slappy: Let's just hurry back, okay?
*Skippy: Why?
*Slappy: Montel Williams is on in five minutes. I love a bald man.
(Skippy and Slappy go into the dogs’ yard. Stinky and Bumpo look up from behind the bushes.)
*Stinky: (laughs) Here they come, Bumpo. It’s squirrel-catching time. (laughs) Do everything I do, kiddo, and you can’t go wrong.
*Bumpo: Right!
(Stinky’s back legs go. Then he goes forward, not by moving his legs but by using fingers to move. Bumpo does the same. They both hide in a bush. Stinky sticks his head out, and so does Bumpo. They see the squirrels picking nuts off the ground. Stinky’s back legs go, then he walks just using his fingers again. Bumpo does the same. Stinky spots and chews himself. Bumpo shrugs and does the same, then continues after Stinky. They creep around to behind the doghouses.)
*Stinky: Now, watch closely, Bumpo, as I snide me a squirrel.
(Stinky pounces on Slappy, but doesn’t realize it is a stuffed decoy. Skippy screams and runs.)
*Stinky: I got her!
(Stinky shakes the stuffed decoy around in his mouth.)
*Bumpo: Wow, Grandpa Stinky, you’re a smarty!
*Stinky: Well, you need to have smarts to catch a squirrel, Bumpo.
(He shakes the decoy some more in his mouth. The head falls off, revealing a lit stick of dynamite in the neck.)
*Stinky: Fortunately, I have smarts to spare. Well, I have smarts I never even used!
(Bumpo runs away, seeing the lit dynamite. Stinky doesn’t notice until it’s too late. Stinky is blown into the air, and the squirrels watch him fly up and then back down.)
*Slappy: Ooh, I bet that really smarts.
(Stinky is shown lying on the ground. There is smoke coming off of him.)
*Bumpo: (sniffs)
*Stinky: Hey, no sniffing me while I’m unconscious!
(Bumpo shrugs. Later, the squirrels are shown picking up acorns again. Stinky and Bumpo sneak closer wearing a fake tree as a disguise. They stop walking when the squirrels look at them.)
*Slappy: (to camera) Oh, now this is sad.
(Stinky sticks his nose out of a hole in the tree and sniffs. He laughs.)
*Stinky: Here they come. We’ll get ‘em this time for sure! Right, Bumpo!
(Bumpo sniffs Stinky.)
*Stinky: Quit trying to sniff me!
*Bumpo: Okay, okay, sorry!
(Skippy and Slappy both stand in front of the tree. They are holding scripts, and reading out loud from them.)
*Slappy: Look, Skippy, a band new hazelnut tree just sprouted while our backs were turned.
(The tree tries to bat at Slappy’s head, but she dodges.)
*Slappy: Your line.
*Skippy: It’s nice looking. Yummy, Aunt Slappy. Shall we pick them?
*Slappy: No, Skippy. The nuts are rotten, for this unfortunate tree is infested with termites.
(The tree swipes at Slappy’s head again, but she dodges. Skippy takes out a jar of termites. He shakes them up, then take off the lid. He backs away, and the termites fly out of the jar like a swarm of bees. They eat the tree. Bumpo runs away, then the termites swarm Stinky. He yowls and barks. Slappy is shown in front of Skippy, who is at a drum set.)
*Slappy: Now that’s what you call, tree bark.
(Skippy does a rimshot. Slappy laughs.)
*Slappy: These are the jokes, folks.
(Stinky walks towards Bumpo. Stinky has no fur because the termites ate it.)
*Stinky: You know, I’ve actually stopped itching.
(Stinky falls over. Bumpo sniffs him.)
*Stinky: Don’t even think about it.
(A whistle is heard, both dogs look towards it.)
*Slappy: Yo, Stinkbomb! Thanks for the nuts, we’ll be headin’ home now.
*Stinky: Oh no you won’t!
(Stinky grabs a suit of his fur and climbs into it. He zips it up then runs after Slappy. The squirrels walks slowly and calmly up the tree. Stinky runs up the tree too. Bye stops to chew himself, then continues running after them. He runs past the branch the squirrels are on, but then stops and comes back down.)
*Stinky: A-ha!
*Slappy: Hey, Issac Newton, interesting bit of trivia for you.
*Stinky: What’s that?
*Slappy: Dogs can’t climb trees.
*Stinky: Oh.
(Stinky falls. A loud thud is heard, and leaves fall from the tree.)
*Slappy: Cute the way he tried flying with his ears.
(The scene changes to Skippy and Slappy’s home. Stinky comes out of the bushes.)
*Stinky: Dogs can’t climb trees, huh?
(Boxes are shown in the ground. One is labeled Acme four plunger. The sticks from toilet plungers are seen on the ground.)
*Bumpo: That’s what they say, Grandpa.
(Stinky is shown with four toilet plungers attached to his feet.)
*Stinky: Well, we’ll see about that! (laughs)
*Bumpo: Those squirrels won’t get away this time, Grandpa. And you know why? ‘Cause your a smarty. A smarty every day.
*Stinky: Thank you Bumpo.
*Bumpo: You’re welcome, Grandpa. May I sniff you now?
*Stinky: No.
*Bumpo: Ok.
*Stinky: ‘Cause I’ve got a score to go settle with some squirrels.
(Stinky starts walking towards the tree.)
*Bumpo: Go get ‘em, Grandpa!
(Stinky starts walking up the tree, Skippy can be seen walking overhead.)
*Slappy: Oh, for cryin’ out loud, what’s wrong this dohickey thing-a-ma-jig thing here?
(Slappy reaches out the window and grabs the toilet plunger on one of Stinky’s feet.)
*Slappy: Ha! Just what I need!
(Slappy pulls Stinky inside and uses him as a toilet plunger.)
*Slappy: Cheap thing won’t flush.
(Skippy climbs in through the window. Slappy finally gets the toilet to flush.)
*Slappy: Ah, there we go.
(Slappy leaves Stinky on the toilet. Stinky spins, then goes down. Skippy’s head spins around as he watches. He gets dizzy and falls, but Slappy catches him.)
*Skippy: Stinkbomb go down the hooooole.
(Outside, Stinky can be heard hitting pipes underground. He comes out of a manhole, with alligators snapping at him. He puts the manhole cover on top of them, and jumps on it until the manhole closes. He pants. Bumpo comes up to him.)
*Bumpo: Are you finished chasing the squirrels, Grandpa?
*Stinky: Yes, Bumpo.
*Bumpo: Well then now can I sniff ya?
*Stinky: Oh, alright. Fine. Be my guest.
*Bumpo (jumping up and down) Really? Gee, thanks, Grandpa Stinky!
(Bumpo sniffs him, then groans and falls over backwards. Stinky sniffs himself.)
*Stinky: That’s funny. If you ask me, I’ve never smelled better in my life!
(Stinky chews and bites himself.)
Spike[]
(A black screen with white text on it saying Boo Knows. The announcer reads it as it shows.)
*Announcer: Boo knows football.
(Chicken Boo is wearing football gear. He gets tackled by football players and yells.)
*Announcer: Boo knows basketball.
(Chicken Boo is wearing basketball clothes. A player dunks a basketball, which hits him on the head. He clucks.)
*Announcer: Boo knows baseball.
(Chicken Boo is wearing baseball gear and has a glove. He is trying to catch a ball. It hits him in the head and bounces off. He falls over.)
*Announcer: How does Boo know? Boo wears Spikey’s!
(Boo’s foot is shown, and he is wearing shoes branded with Spike. Boo sits up, clucking dizzily. There are stars around his head. He falls back down.)
*Announcer: Just Boo it!
Wheel of Morality[]
(The Warners run. They all stop.)
*Yakko: It’s that time again.
*Dot: To have elective surgery?
*Wakko: To change our underwear?
*Yakko: No. It’s time to learn today’s lesson. And to find out what it is, we turn to: The Wheel of Morality!
(Yakko spins the wheel.)
*Yakko: Wheel of Morality, turn turn turn. Tell us the lesson that we should learn. Moral number 1. And the moral of today’s story is..
(He looks at the paper.)
*Yakko: Do not back up. Severe tire damage.
*Wakko: I think the Wheel of Morality needs a tune-up.
*Dot: More like a whole new transmission.
(Whistle blows.)
*Warners: Yike!
(The Warners all run away, and are chased by Ralph.)
Ending[]
(Animaniacs theme instrumental)
*Warners: Goodbye Nurse!