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Theme Song[]

[The intro begins with a shot of the Warner Bros.' water tower. The camera zooms in to the shield of tower, of which the Warners open while singing and jump out. ]

Yakko, Wakko and Dot: It's time for Animaniacs and we're zany to the max

[The scene then cuts to Dr. Scratchansniff sitting in while watching a television; the Warners (wearing lab coats) appear and tickle his feet, sending him into hysterical laughter and Yakko sends Scratchansniff crashing into the floor with the lever of the examination chair.]

Yakko, Wakko and Dot: So just sit back and relax. You'll laugh till you collapse.

[The show's title appears with them singing]

Yakko, Wakko and Dot: We're Animaniacs!

[Yakko and Wakko walk in a silly way along the Warner Bros.' studio lot while Dot hops in.]

*Yakko and Wakko: Come join the Warner Brothers

*Dot: And the Warner Sister Dot.

[The siblings do a double take and run with Ralph the Guard chasing them with a net]

*Yakko, Wakko and Dot: Just for fun, we run around the Warner movie lot.

[Ralph locks the Warners in the water tower, but they appear on his head under his hat]

Yakkko, Wakko and Dot: They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught.

[They run away outside the lot.]

Yakko, Wakko and Dot: But we break loose and then vamoose and now you know the plot.

[They are hit by the show's title with them singing again]

Yakkko, Wakko and Dot: We're Animaniacs [Dot appears posing on a stage and Yakko talks to an annoyed yak, who splashes his face into the soup.] Dot is cute and Yakko yaks. [Wakko eats food from a truck loading it into his mouth. Bill Clinton is playing a saxophone before the Warners pop out of it. ] Wakko packs away the snacks, while Bill Clinton plays the sax! We're Animaniacs

[Yakko plays a bunch of characters from the show (mainly their 'special friends') like a xylophone. Pinky and the Brain are introduced; they are standing on top of the Earth.]

Yakko, Wakko and Dot: Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe. [The Brain turns on a huge magnet with an awestruck Pinky gazing at the power beam, before Saturn crashes into the two. The Goodfeathers are standing on top of a power line; Squit hugs Bobby and Pesto before they are hit by Slappy's purse.] Goodfeathers flock together, Slappy whacks them with her purse. [Buttons chases Mindy across a steel beam, while Rita sings and Runt smiles while the Warners singing.] Buttons chases Mindy, while Rita sings a verse. [Two writers in their office go crazy, Yakko and Dot throw away a script, of which Wakko eats.] The writers flipped, We have no script, Why bother to rehearse?

[The cast are then seen walking, and show their contracts]

*All: We're Animaniacs! We have pay-or-play contracts!

[In a lavender background, the Warners appear singing.]

All: We're zany to the max [Backed up by the cast (colored in blue), Dot puts slices of bologna in Yakko's slacks, of which Wakko is pulling.] There's baloney in our slacks! [Zooms out with the cast singing in a dark-colored background.] We're Animanie-, Totally insane-y...

*Yakko: Citizen Kaney...

[The show's logo appears one last time with the Warners singing the show's title (zooming letters), proclaiming "Those are the facts.", and the song ends.]

*Warners: Animaniacs! Those are the facts!

Intermission[]

[Dot looks out of the tower. She grabs a box of condor food, and puts it outside. Dot goes back in the tower, and a condor lands on the rail. It starts eating the condor food, and Yakko puts a saddle on it. The three Warners get on its back, and the condor looks back at them. The Warners jump off the condors back and land in front of the movie lot with parachutes.]

Ragamuffins[]

[The Warner movie lot is shown, but it is in black and white.]

*Narrator: Recently, the Warner studio janitorial staff uncovered this long lost film, starring Yakko, Wakko, and Dot!

[The title card of the cartoon shows, and is in black and white. The whole cartoon is in black and white, expect for the Warners’ noses, which are red. Acme Bakery is shown. Two people are shown inside at a table. The Warners look through the window of the bakery at a shelf with pastries on it, while standing on top of one another’s heads. They see the two people eating at the table, then go over to them and make faces through the window. The two people drop their food on the floor and run, and the Warners come inside. Their clothes can be seen having patches. The Warners pulls out bags, and start collecting food off the ground. The owner of the bakery, who is a bull, grabs them and then takes the bags out of their hands. The owner then kicks out the Warners, and they land across the street against a wall in the shape of a totem pole. They start to walk away, then Dot stops her brothers, and points to a sign that says Acme Bakery, Now Hiring. The sign is on a building, and there is a line of people standing at the door. Yakko has an idea with lightbulb above his head, but Wakko eats the lightbulb. Yakko motions his siblings to follow him, but then stops them quickly, because he sees the owner of the bakery. The Warners all hide under a turned-over trash can. They peek out, and see people walking into the bakery. The owner stops an ostrich in a suit that tries to go inside, then points to a sign that says must supply own uniform. The ostrich shrugs, then is kicked away by the owner. The Warners hide back under the trash can. Yakko has another idea, and reaches into Wakko’s shirt and pulls out his gag bag. Yakko pulls out a white paintbrush, and paints himself and his siblings into chef uniforms. They all come out from under the trash can and walk up to the owner. The owner picture them in chef uniforms, in contrast to how they were in their normal clothes. Wakko eats the thought bubble, so the owner shrugs and gives them a thumbs up. The Warners all walk inside, but Wakko sticks his head back out of the door and gives an ok sign and winks at the camera. They pass by pastries being made in the factory. The owner shows Yakko to his station, and shows him how to put one pecan on top of each cupcake that passes. A bell rings above the station, and the owner reaches into a bucket and grabs a handful of pecans. Yakko is seen writing on a notepad. When the owner is done, Yakko shows a drawing of the owner’s butt on the notepad, signed by Yakko. The owner gets mad and rips up the notepad, then lunges at Yakko, who hops over him and goes to work at his station. The bell rings, and Yakko rolls up his sleeves and puts pecans on cupcakes. He still has some left in his hand, so he tries to eat them, but the owner grabs his arm and dumps the pecans back into the bucket. The owner pulls down a sign that shows that you cannot eat while working. The Warners all look at this sign sadly, since they got this job to get free food. The owner leads Wakko and Dot away, and Yakko resumes working. Yakko looks back and sees that the owner is far enough away, so he flips a pecan into his mouth. The owner runs back over to him, and Yakko sticks out his tongue wand flips the pecan back onto the cupcake. He smiles and waves at the owner, who walks away. The owner comes up to Wakko’s station, and shows him how to fill pies by pulling a rope downwards. The owner motions for Wakko to do it, which he does. The owner gives him the ok sing, then walks away. Wakko gets under the pie filling dispenser and pulls the hope so the pie filling goes into his mouth. The owner looks back, sees this, and runs back up to him. Wakko sees the owner and resumes filling pies, his mouth still full of pie filling. The owner grabs Wakko, and uses him as a piping bag to fill a pie. He then sets Wakko back down, so Wakko smiles at him, and the owner walks away. Dot is shown at her station, about to eat a cookie, when the owner comes and grabs it out of her hand. He shows her a sign on the wall that says no eating while working. Dot salutes him, and then the owner shows her how to frost cookies on the shape of a smiley face. Dot does so a couple times on her own, then the owner leaves. Dot then puts a large amount of icing on one cookie, and is about to lick it off, when the owner grabs her and starts carrying her away. Dots tongue stretches and stays where it is, so the owner continues to run away with her. He sets her in a chair and wraps her tongue around her, tying her to the chair. Her tongue continues to stretch towards the pastry, but the owner runs in front of it and grabs a spatula. Dots tongue also grabs a spatula, and the two sword fight until Dot’s spatula is knocked away. Her tongue retreats, whimpering, and the owner chases it. Dots tongue returns to its normal size, then the owner pulls down a sign that says no eating while working, then walks away. Dot stands up and intimates him, holding the sign, then she flips the sign over so it says lunatic and points in the direction of the owner, while making a cuckoo sign by her head. The owner comes back and leans over the sign at her, so she lets it go and it flings the owner into the air. Wakko, at his station, puts some pie filling on his finger to eat, but then the owner of the bakery land on top of him. Wakko gets out from under him and puts the pie filling on a pie. A whistle blows over a sign that says break time. The Warners all celebrate, then run to the snack room. They all go up to the vending machine, and look at the snacks inside the same way they did at the beginning of the cartoon. They see that a snack costs one cent, so Dot looks in her pocket and pulls out a few buttons. Yakko looks in his pocket and pulls out a bottle cap and a key. Wakko has an idea, then takes off his chef’s hat, and pulls out a goat, then throws it aside. He rattles the hat, and a fly flies out. Wakko puts his hat back on, then Yakko has an idea. He looks in the change dispenser of the machine and finds a penny in there. He puts it into the machine and a treat falls out. Yakko grabs it, then the owner grabs it out of his hands. The owner points to a sign that says back to work while a whistle blows above it. The Warners sadly walk out of the room while the owner follows. The owner then unwraps the treat and eats it in front of them. Yakko complains to him, but the owner pulls his hat over his face and laughs at him. Dot grabs the icing hose and puts icing down the owners pants. The owner notices then turns around, so Dot squirts icing in his face in the shape of a duck beak. A picture frame is put around his head with a ribbon on it that says best use of icing. The Warners all run away, and the owner tries to follow him, but falls and all the icing comes out of his pants. The Warners get covered in icing, then brush it off their face. They are about to eat the icing, but then the owner grabs them, puts them in a sink, and sprays them with water, which reveals their normal clothes. Yakko and Dot get out of the sink, and Wakko spits the water in his mouth at the owner. The Warners all run, but end up at a dead end. The owner approaches them, so Wakko pulls a matador’s hat and cape out of his gag bag. The owner, being a bull, gets down on all fours and blows smoke out of his nose. Yakko and Dot pose dramatically in anticipation. The bull charges at the red cape, but Wakko moves it out of the way so the bull goes into a hole in the wall. The Warners all look in the hole, and crashing can be heard. The Warners look up and see a sign above the hole that says pastry maker. The Warners watch the owner go through glass tubes, and then into a pastry flattened, which whacks the owner several times. A whistle blows, but the owner comes out instead. He lands on a conveyor belt, and then through more tubes, until he comes out of a nozzle as a pastry. He then goes into an oven, where a whistle blows in the side. He comes out as a cake, and goes into another oven, where two whistles blow. A meter shows high danger levels. The owner comes out of the oven as a cookie, but then is slammed against a wall. He falls into a bowl of pastry batter, which mixes itself. The Warners are shown pressing buttons on the digital decorator 2000. Many whistles blow and meters pop off their walls. The bowl of batter tips over and dumps the owner into s conveyor belt. He then goes into another machine, and comes out as another pastry. He falls into a tube and clogs it. The Warners are all shown dressed in suits as music conductors, each with sticks. They raise their arms, then lower then, causing the factory to explode. Once the smoke clears, the Warners are shown surrounded by the destroyed factory, now dressed in normal clothes. The owners arm raises from the wreckage, waving a tattered white flag. The owner stands up, showing his clothes are also tattered. Wakko holds up the sign saying you can’t eat while you work, and the owner rips it up and outs a piece of the paper in his mouth. The Warners high five, and are then shown at a table in the bakery, with many pastries on their table. The owner comes to their table and dumps another plate of donuts onto their table. The Warners put on white bibs and start eating.]

Slappy the Squirrel Intro[]

*Warners:

The crankiest of creatures in the whole wide world,

Our next cartoon features Slappy the Squirrel!

*Slappy: Enough with the singin’ already!

*Warners: That’s Slappy!

Woodstock Slappy[]

[A black screen is shown with the white text 1969.]

*Narrator: 1969. As brave American soldier went to battle in Vietnam, black at home, demonstrators protested the war.

[Many protesters are shown in front of the White House. A band is shown in concert with a rainbow background.]

*Narrator: It was a time of flower power. Psychedelic music. Student marches. And a nation divided.

[The pictures onscreen shatter like glass.]

*Narrator: Which brings us to August, 1969. And Slappy Squirrel.

[Going Up the Country by Canned Heat plays. Slappy is shown walking on top of telephone wires.]

*Slappy: Ah, here we go. Summer in the country. Nothin’ but rest and relaxation, right Skippy?

[Skippy is shown wearing a blue jacket, pink glasses, and a necklace with a green peace symbol on the end.]

*Skippy: Yeah, groovy Aunt Slappy, man, groovy.

*Slappy: Skippy, don’t talk like that, people will think you had brain surgery.

*Skippy: I can dig it man. Wow.

*Slappy: (sighs) I had to get him out from the city. Away from all those bad influences.

*Skippy: You mean like peace and love?

*Slappy: Exaclty, that stuff’ll whoop ya.

[Skippy looks away skeptically, then continues walking. Slappy follows. A tree in shown in a field with a sunset in the background.]

*Slappy: There it is. Our summer cottage.

*Skippy: Out of state, man.

[Slappy opens the door for Skippy.]

*Slappy: Make yourself at home, kiddo.

*Skippy: I can dig it.

*Slappy: (sighs) I’ll have him speaking English in no time.

[Loud guitar music is heard inside. Slappy covers her ears. Slappy goes inside to see Skippy lying in his bed, listening to a vinyl record. Slappy lifts the needle off of it.]

*Slappy: Knock it off with the Bing Crosby Stills and Nash, will ya?

*Skippy: Why?

*Slappy: ‘Cause, the only tune I want to hear is the sound of silence.

[Slappy tucks Skippy into bed.]

*Slappy: Can you dig that?

*Skippy: I hear ya.

*Slappy: Good, now let’s rest up for tomorrow.

*Skippy: Why, what are we doing tomorrow?

*Slappy: Napping all day if I have anything to say about it.

[Slappy gets into bed.]

*Slappy: Ah, rest and relaxation at last.

[Slappy turns out the lamp. Outside, a sign is seen that says Welcome to Woodstock, N.Y. In the morning, the field the tree was in is seen crowded with a large amount of people. There is a stage in the front. Text on the screen says August 15, 1969, The Woodstock Music & Art Fair. Voices can be heard outside and Slappy tosses and turns in her bed. A scream is heard outside. Slappy is visibly angered.]

*Slappy: Oops, someone ran over a dog.

[Slappy gets out of bed and walks over to the window, where Skippy is.]

*Slappy: For the love of Kaopectate, what’s goin’ on?

*Skippy: Somethin’s happening here. But it isn’t exactly clear.

*Slappy: Well thank you, for that.

[Slappy goes outside, holding a broom.]

*Slappy: Hey, you kids, what are you doin’? Go on, get away from my tree!

(She swings her book at the people sitting by her tree, and they get up and run away. A small group of people is shown sitting nearby.:

*Woman: Like, mellow you, you running-dog squirrel.

*Man: Yeah, we’re here for the Woodstock concert, man.

*Woman: Three days of rock from groups like Jefferson Airplane, The Band, The Who, The Grateful Dead.

*Slappy: I’d be grateful to if I didn’t have to listen to this noise.

[Slappy comes up to them and swings he broom at them.]

*Slappy: Clear out, all of you, go home. Scat.

[The poeple run away. The Warners run by, being chased by Ralph. The Warners are all dressed in clothes from the 60’s. Skippy comes out of the tree.]

*Skippy: Aunt Slappy, be cool, let’s just go with the flow.

*Slappy: I’m not going anywhere with Flo. I want some peace and quiet.

*Skippy: But Aunt Slappy, man, we’re witnessing history. Woodstock, a single event pulling together a whole generation!

*Slappy: A bowlful of prunes would have the same effect.

[Guitar can be heard on stage. There is a man on stage playing the guitar and singing.]

*Man on stage: (singing) And it’s 2, 4, 6, what am I singin’ for? Don’t ask me I don’t give a hoot. Just pay me with lots‘a loot! And it’s 8, 10, 12, I’m just killin’ time. My contract says to sing a song, yee haw, I made a rhyme!

[The whole crowd cheers. Slappy pushes her way through the crowd with a broom in hand.]

*Slappy: All right, all of ya, hit the road, party’s over, go on, shoo.

*Skippy: They’re not listening, Aunt Slappy, man. They’re too into the music.

[Slappy grabs Skippy’s arm.]

*Slappy: Well, we’ll see about that. Come on.

*Skippy: Where are we going?

*Slappy: To the stage, to put a stop to this. I came to the country for some peace and quiet and I’m gonna get it.

[A woman is onstage singing. People are bumped in the crowd as the two squirrels make their way through. A man is singing onstage and gets hit with a tomato.]

*Slappy: [holding a basket of tomatoes] Guess!

*Skippy: Chill out, Aunt Slappy, man.

[A band is on stage.]

*Singer: Can you watch me? Can you listen to me? Can you smell me? (sniffs self) Can you hear me?

[The crowd cheers. Skippy and Slappy hop onto speakers in the crowd.]

*Slappy: Unfortunately, yes! Skippy, what’s the name of that group playing on stage?

*Skippy: Who.

*Slappy: The name of the group.

*Skippy: Who.

*Slappy: The group on stage!

*Skippy: Who!

*Slappy: The group playin’ on stage!

*Skippy: Who!

*Slappy: You’re startin’ to sound like an owl, Skippy.

*Skippy: Who is on stage.

*Slappy: That’s what I’m asking you. Who is on stage?

*Skippy: That’s what I said!

*Slappy: You said Who?

*Skippy: I sure did.

*Slappy: So tell me the name.

*Skippy: Who.

*Slappy! The name of the group.

*Skippy: Who.

*Slappy: The group on stage!

*Skippy: Who.

*Slappy: The name of the band on stage.

*Skippy: Who!

*Slappy: You’re doing that owl thing again, Skippy.

*Skippy: I’m not, Aunt Slappy, I’m tell you Who is on stage!

*Slappy: So tell me.

*Skippy: Who!

*Slappy: The name of the group!

*Skippy: Who!

*Slappy: The group on stage!

*Skippy: Who!

*Slappy: That’s what I’m askin’ you!

*Skippy: And I’m telling you the answer!

*Slappy: Wait. Skippy. Let’s start over. Is there a band on stage?

*Skippy: Yes.

*Slappy: Does that band have a name?

*Skippy: Yes.

*Slappy: Do you know the name of that band?

*Skippy: Yes.

*Slappy: Then tell me the name of the band on stage.

*Skippy: Who.

*Slappy: The name of the band.

*Skippy: Who.

*Slappy: The band on stage!

*Skippy: Who!

*Slappy: The band playin’ on stage!

*Skippy: Who!

*Slappy: That’s what I wanna know!

*Skippy: I’m telling you!

*Slappy: Who is onstage?

*Skippy: Yes.

*Slappy: Who is?

*Skippy: Yes.

*Slappy: Oh, so the name of the band is Yes.

*Skippy: No, Aunt Slappy, Yes is not even at this concert!

*Slappy: Then who is on stage?

*Skippy: Yes!

*Slappy: Who is?

*Skippy: Yes!

*Slappy: That’s what I just said, yes is on stage.

*Skippy: No, Yes is not here, Who is on stage.

*Slappy: What’re you askin’ me for!

*Skippy: I’m not!

*Slappy: Wait. Let’s try this again. Do you see the band on stage?

*Skippy: No, I don’t see The Band, that’s a different group entirely!

*Slappy: On stage, Skippy! Look, see the band?

*Skippy: No I don’t!

*Slappy: Get rid of those John Lennon glasses and look! There, there’s the band!

*Skippy: No, that’s not The Band! The Band is performing later on. Who is onstage.

*Slappy: You tell me.

*Skippy: Who?

*Slappy: The name of the group onstage!

*Skippy: Who!

*Slappy: The name of the group!

*Skippy: Who!

*Slappy: The group onstage!

*Skippy: Who!

*Slappy: The band!

*Skippy: No, The Band is performing later! Right now, we’re listening to Who!

*Slappy: That’s what I wanna know!

[The poeple in the crowd cheer. The two squirrels bow.]

*Singer: Hey, you squirrels are funny, man. Come on up here and take a bow!

*Skippy: Yeah!

*Slappy: Oh, brother.

[The two squirrels go up on stage. The crowd cheers.]

*Slappy: Yeah, yeah, ok. Thank you. Now everybody go home! Including you guys, what’s your name?

*Singer: Who.

*Slappy: The name of your band!

*Singer: Who.

*Slappy: Don’t start with me! Just get off the stage!

[She pushes the insider offstage.]

*Slappy: And the rest of you, go!

[The crowd cheers.]

*Slappy: Why aren’t they leaving?

*Skippy: They dig you, Aunt Slappy, man!

*Slappy: Oh yeah? We’ll see about that!

[Skippy grabs the guitar, and smashes it into a speaker.]

*Slappy: I said leave!

[The speaker explodes.]

*Singer: Oh, that groovy, innit mates? Totally

[The rest of the band agrees with him.]

*Singer: (picking up microphone stand) We are The Who!

[Everybody smashes their instrument. The singer snakes his microphone stand into another speaker. All the other instruments are destroyed as well. One of the band members swings their instrument and smashes it into a speaker, which electrocutes him and explodes the stage. The band members groan and fall down. The whole crowd erupted in cheers.]

*Slappy: Yeesh. These kids would applaud my laundry. Why won’t they take a hike?

*Skippy: They want more music!

*Slappy: Alright then. They can have more music. [goes up to and taps microphone] Hey everybody! Let’s polka!

[She plays accordion.]

*Slappy: (singing) Uncle Jascha lost his shoe. It fell in a bog; he did too. Uncle Schmeeda grabbed his foot. He jumped in the bog and went kaput!

[The whole crowd gasps, screams, and covers their ears. They all run and leave, some through buses and helicopters. The enticed field was shown, cleared out, leaving only litter.]

*Slappy: Ah. Peace and quiet at last. (singing) In the land of the free, now that’s com-e-dy!

Intermission[]

[The Warners run towards the water tower, chased by Ralph. Wakko reaches into his gag bag and pulls out a lasso. They lasso the tower, and climb up the rope. Ralph runs up to the rope and pulls it, but a horse lands on him. The Warners shrug and go into the water tower.]

Ending[]

(Animaniacs theme instrumental)

*Skippy: Spew!

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