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Theme song[]

(music)

Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

It's time for Animaniacs

And we're zany to the max

So just sit back and relax,

you'll laugh to you collapse.

We're Animaniacs!

Yakko and Wakko:

Come join the Warner Brothers

Dot:

And the Warner Sister, Dot!

Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

Just for fun, we run around the Warner movie lot

They lock us in the tower whenever we get caught

But we break loose and then vamoose and now you know the plot!

We're Animaniacs!

Dot has wit and Yakko yaks

Wakko packs away the snacks, our careers have made comebacks

We're Animaniacs!

Meet Pinky and the Brain who want to rule the universe,

A brand new cast who tested well in focus group research.

Gender Balance, Pronoun Neutral and Ethically Diverse!

The trolls will say we're so passé but we did meta first!

We're Animaniacs!

You should see our new contracts

We're zany to the max, there's baloney in our slacks!

We're Animanie!

Totally insane-y!

Dot:

Execs must be crazy!

Yakko, Wakko and Dot:

AN-I-MAN-I-ACS!

Those are the facts!

Warner She Wrote[]

(Episode starts on the Occident Express around the 1920s. It goes to it's next destination. Inside, some passengers are eating in the dining cart. Meanwhile, The Warners, in 1920 clothing, are trying to eat their soup with spoons. However, the bumpy ride prevents them from doing so, so the Warners drink the soup with straws. Beside them, a spoiled poodle named Gigi is eating ice cream while her owner feeds her the said ice cream.)

Gigi's owner: (Notices Yakko) Oh ho, darling! (Drops the spoon and hugs Gigi) Look there. (Tips the ice cream bowl off the table. Gigi is crestfallen, but her owner didn't notice it.) Is that celebrated Detective Hercule Yakko? (Gigi starts barking, The Warners looked at the barking poodle with serious looks) Is Gigi scared of the nice detective? Oh. Sweet Gigi. (Starts to pet her dog. Gigi then jumps off the table and starts to do naughty things. First, she goes under a table where two women are sitting at. Gigi then urinates under the table, freaking out one of the women. Next, Gigi then jumps on the table and destroys the women's meal. Finally, she jumps off and pulls a random people, tablecloth and steals some steak. However, instead of scolding Gigi for her behavior, Gigi's owner just says...) Oh Gigi. You scamp.

(Gigi then hops over to the Warners's table and lands into Wakko's soup, flipping it over.)

Wakko: Hey! I didn't over a chicken poodle soup!

(Eventually, the conductor named Margaret came in the dinning cart to set things right)

Conductor Margaret: Control that dog! Or it's likely to be (Darkening the scene) MURDERED! (The Warners and the passengers freaks out about this, even Gigi slurps up the whole steak out of pure shock. Margaret realized his mistake) Oh sorry! I mean muzzled. I always get my M words mangoed, I mean Mondayed, I mean muddled. Pip pip!

(The Conductor then closes the door. Scene fades into the train riding in the night. Gigi can still be heard barking. Cut to the scene where the Warners are in a room, annoyed by the barking)

Yakko: (Couldn't take it anymore) That's it! I got to go see a woman about a dog!

Wakko: Aww. Can't you just hold it and talk to Gigi's owner first?

Yakko: Fine... (He opens the window and stretches his body to knock at the window that's next to the Warners on the right.) Excuse me! (Gigi's owner notices Yakko and opens the window. Her right cheek is catching some wind while Gigi pops by her owner, still barking) Hi. Can you tell your dog to put a sock in it, please? Some of us are trying to lie quietly in bed, contemplating the brief nature of our existence!

Gigi's owner: Gigi will express herself as she sees fit. Begone!

(She then grabs something. Cut back to the Warner's room. Yakko returns with stuffed cheeks and rolls out his tongue to reveal a sock, a literal definition of "put a sock in it")

Dot: Ugh. Just start the white noise machine

( Wakko then winds up his tail and starts to do some white noises. Dot sighs and goes to bed and snores later on. However, Yakko uses the sock and ties it around his head before putting his hat on. He tries to go to sleep under his pillow, however, combined with how loud the train is moving, Wakko's white noises, Gigi's barking and Dot's snoring, Yakko just can't take it anymore.)

Yakko: WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! (His screams echo on a mountain, making an avalanche. The avalanche lands on the Occident Express, flipping the Warners and the scene cuts in black. The next morning, Yakko is okay, feeling content on the dining cart.) Ahh. Finally some peace and quiet.

(Yakko eats his cereal and make some loud crunching sounds, since he is eating some "Grandpa's Gravel Nuts." Margaret came by and covered his ears due to Yakko's loud crunching.)

Conductor Margaret: (Pointing) You there! (He sees Wakko and Dot making snowmen outside.) Stop that nonsense and get in here!

Yakko: What seems to be the problem, Conductor?

Conductor Margaret: There's been a meatball! A manicure! No! (Darkening the scene) A murder!

Wakko: On a kid's show?

Conductor Margaret: Well. At the very least a dognapping.

(Gigi's owner arrives with Gigi's collar, crying)

Gigi's owner: Oh Gigi! She's gone!

Yakko: This looks like a case for celebrated detective Hercule Yakko!

Dot: I feel like we've been here before.

Yakko: Yeah. That's how they make television in 2020. (Yakko then does a jig, and all the Warners look at the viewers) REBOOT! (To Gigi's owner) May I be an assistance, madam?

Gigi's owner: Oh yes. Inspector Yakko. Your reputation precedes you!

Yakko: Ah. So, you already know I tended get ahead of myself. (Points at Wakko) HE DID IT! (Points at Dot) NO! SHE DID IT! See what I mean? (Scene fades in Gigi's room. Yakko is looking for clues with his magnifying glass while Wakko, Dot, Margaret, and Gigi's owner watches. Yakko then sees a loose feather on a pillow) Aha! I got it! (It turns out he have no clue of the crime and only finds out about what his magnifying glass does) This thing makes everything look bigger!

Gigi's owner: First, I was subdued with a chloroform-soaked handkerchief. Then, someone made off with my Gigi!

(Crys about her dearly-loved poodle. Scene cuts to a white handkerchief on the ground. Yakko picks it up)

Yakko: What this the handkerchief?

Gigi's owner: Hold on. Let me smell it. (She smells the handkerchief and faints soon after, landing on Margaret. Ouch. Yakko then unfolds the handkerchief and finds his sister's name on the handkerchief. Wakko and Margaret stares at the suspect)

Dot: Don't look at me! I mean, actually, I do want everyone to look at me! This is one of my most dramatic poses.

Yakko: Did you, Dot Warner, dognap Gigi?

Dot: NEVER! I lost that handkerchief last night doing close magic, remember? (Flashback of Dot doing said magic by using her handkerchief to cover a salt and pepper shaker.) Okay now watch. (Scene zooms out to show that she was showing the magic trick to a moose) Watch. Watch. Watch. Watch. (The moose looks away) WATCH! WATCH!

Moose: I'm watching. (Dot then pulls off the handkerchief) It's still there.

Dot: But where is the handkerchief?!

(The moose freaks out about this destroying everything in his path)

Moose: Moosey mama! I'm frightened! I'm Frightened! I'M FRIGHTENED! (He flips the table Dot did the magic on. End flashback)

Dot: If you ask me, Gigi's disappearance is an inside job! (She points at Wakko. The latter gasps) Yes. It's shocking!

Wakko: No! I just saw a sign! (Points at the said sign on a window.) There's a Meat Cute now open at Exit 196!

Dot: (Get's close to Wakko) And what about him? I saw him sneaking out of our room in the middle of the night! (Flashback of Wakko leaving the Warner's room. Dot wakes up and sees him leaving. The flashback is seen on an old movie camera. Wakko gasps about it.) That's right. Caught red-handed!

Wakko: No! Not that. (Points to another sign) Gloria Estefan is back at Guilty River Casino for one night only!

Yakko: Why'd you leave the bunk last night, brother?

Wakko: Oh, me? I was taking a bath.

Yakko: So, no one saw you. (Chuckles) How convenient.

Wakko: No, everyone saw me. (Flashback to Wakko taking a bath in the punch bowl. The people that are lining up aren't amused. The former sings) Hot washed buns, hot washed buns. Scrubbidydubdub, scrubbidydubdub. Hot washed buns!

Woman: (Clears throat) This punchline is taking far too long

(The flashback was played on the same old movie camera)

Yakko: (Checking the time on his watch) I'll say. This episode feels like it's all setup and no payoff.

Wakko: Besides. You're the one with dog hair on his jacket.

(Yakko looks and saws the said dog hair on said jacket. The Warners gasp about it.)

Yakko: Looks like I'm my own prime suspect! (He puts away the movie camera and puts down a desk with two chairs. He stands on one of them.) I can't believe you were under my nose the whole time! (He moves to the other chair.) Under it, behind it, attached to it. (He moves to the other chair.) Where were you the night Gigi disappeared? (Yakko moves to the other chair) I WAS WITH YOU! (Moves to the other chair) With me? (Moves to the other chair) That's right. With we!

Dot: (To Wakko) Are you following this?

Wakko: Absolutely not. I'm (winking to his little sister) beside it.

Conductor Margaret: Why? I'll tell you why. A mop that mummified merrily missed Mississippi on the black mamba!

Wakko and Dot: What?

Yakko: Hold on. I think I know what he's trying to say. "A mutt that manicured might make millions on the black market".

Wakko and Dot: Ah.

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