The Geologic Clock

The Geologic Clock is a song written by Randy Rogel to be sung by Yakko that ultimately got left on the cutting room floor. The song was meant to be about literally the "history of everything". On July 27, 2012 at the Jon Lovitz Comedy Club in Los Angeles, California, as part of a live podcast for Rob Paulsen's "Talking Toons", Randy performed it live for the first time. Randy also states that this was the hardest song he ever had to write.

Lyrics

What happened before history

Is still a certain mystery

From long ago when people weren't around.

Before the Prophets and Apostles,

There were ancient things called fossils,

Which reveal the hidden stories

Of the many categories

Of creatures that were here before us:

Wooly mammoth, brontosaurus,

Even a tyrannosaurus rex!

The geologic explanation

Of the planet Earth's creation

Is something quite amazing and complex.

Four and one half billion years ago, my friend,

In a time we call Precambrian, you see,

Some stellar gas was warmed

And the planet Earth was formed

Alone in space and empty as can be.

And then that geologic clock,

It started slowly ticking by.

A million years just disappears

In the twinkling of an eye.

Things were slowly shifting,

The continents were drifting

There were mountain ranges lifting

And four billion years went by.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, ticka ticka tick-tock, tick-tock...

Along then comes the Paleozoic era. (Paleozoic?)

Out of nowhere, life just suddenly appears.

And soon there's seaweed fish and plants

And spiders, insects, ants,

In a span about three hundred million years.

And then comes next the Mesozoic era (Mesozoic!)

With a reptile population starts to grow.

That's when the dinosaurs arrived,

But none of them survived,

The last one died about seventy million years ago.

And that geologic clock,

It kept on slowly ticking by,

Now there's tiny snails and great big whales

And birds up in the sky.

The planet keeps revolving,

And new species keep evolving

In a process that's involving

Several hundred million years.

Tick-tock, tick-tock, ticka ticka tick-tock, tick-tock...

We finally passed into the Cenozoic era (Cenozoic?)

And the rise of modern creatures now began.

With things like horses, goats and camels,

It's now the age of mammals

Including one new species known as man! (There goes the neighborhood!)

He walks upright and brights the night with fire.

He builds a cattle fence and then invents the wheel.

In just a couple thousand years,

He's making tools and spears,

Then building cities out of brick and steel.

And still that geologic clock,

It kept on slowly ticking by,

Pretty soon, he's on the moon

With spaceships that can fly.

Now on Earth, the human race,

We've got this whole entire place,

We still can't find a parking space!

Things keep moving, rearranging,

Life evolves and things keep changing!

(Car horns honk in rhythm)

And in a couple million years from now,

You just might get a shock,

When your great-great-great-great-grandkids

All have ears like Mr. Spock!

And you know that it was all because

That geologic clock

It takes a licking, keeps on ticking,

Yes, that dadline cotton-picking,

Geologic clock keeps ticking

By 1000, two-1000, three-1000, four-1000...

(It would take me a million years to just stand that!)