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This rendition of Variety Speak debuted in the episode "Hooray for North Hollywood (Part 1)." Much like the original, it is performed by the Warners to discuss the lingo used in Variety magazine.

Lyrics

Wakko:
In Hollywood, they have a certain way they like to talk
It's used by all those folks who can't chew gum and also walk
Yakko:
It's found inside Variety, a movie magazine
Wakko:
And everyone who reads it wonders what the headlines mean
Yakko:
Like "Mitch makes a pitch, and he's gonna get rich"...
Wakko:
Means someone's got a movie that sold
Yakko:
"Brando's mad, says the screenplay's bad"...
Wakko:
Means someone else was offered the role
Yakko:
"It's called Fargo Two with a story that's new"...
Wakko:
Means they're gonna shoot it all in LA
Yakko:
"The budget got maxed, so someone got faxed"...
Wakko:
Everybody's on the carpet, so the writer got the axe
Dot:
Well, "Merchandise scores in the theme park stores"...
Yakko:
And Disney is the king of the hill
Dot:
"Michael Ovitz in talks with 20th Fox"...
Yakko:
Means he wants another ninety-three mil
Wakko:
If you want the poop
Dot:
Or ya need the scoop
Yakko:
On Hollywood Town this week
The Warners:
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Showgirls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Yakko:
"Studio bomb, gets Oscar nom"...
Dot:
Means all the actors gotta be Brits
Wakko:
"Bronfman's play for MCA"...
Yakko:
Means the Japanese are calling it quits
Wakko:
"No scripts are new" means Jurassic Park 2...
Dot:
And a trillion little dinosaur toys
Yakko:
"The cash flows nice, they're releasin' it twice"
Since it isn't out on video, they're jackin' up the price
Dot:
Well, "Studio Czar wants unknown star"...
Yakko:
Means they couldn't get Robert Duvall.
Wakko:
But "They're in trouble again, doing Mice and Men"...
Dot:
With Martin Short and Steven Seagal
The Warners:
You gotta stay alive
And if you wanna survive
In Hollywood Town this week,
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Showgirls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Yakko:
Normal talk makes producers walk
Dot:
You might as well speak Greek
Yakko:
You're gonna have to learn
Wakko:
Or the meeting will adjourn
The Warners:
Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety speak!
All:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Bop, doo, bop, doo, bop, doo, bah, dah!

Trivia

  • This rendition of "Variety Speak" sounds closer to the original Variety Pack version of the song than the rendition featured in episode 71, but features slightly different lyrics.

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