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"Variety Speak" is a song from the segment of the same name. The song discusses the lingo used in Variety magazine. The music and lyrics were written by Randy Rogel.

A version of the song with different lyrics was used in "Hooray for North Hollywood." The song is the first track on the album Variety Pack, as well as the first song performed by Rob Paulsen and Randy Rogel in their Animaniacs Live! shows.

Lyrics

Yakko:
In Hollywood, they have a different language that they speak
It's spoken by those folks who went to school for just one week
Dot:
It's found inside Variety, a magazine they use
Yakko and Dot:
And no one understands it when they read the movie news
Dot:
Like "Hix makes pix but the flick needs fix"...
Yakko:
Means someone made a movie that bombed
Dot:
"The veeps in charge are now at large"...
Yakko:
Means everyone involved is gone
Dot:
"The plot conflix, no beautiful chix"...
Yakko:
So it's comin' out on video soon
Dot:
"They're takin' their licks cause the critics say nix"...
Yakko:
And the editors are gonna try to fix it in the mix
Dot:
Well, "the stock sees green" on page 13...
Yakko:
Means Disney's up a nickel a share
Dot:
"Stallone cuts deal for a major reel"...
Yakko:
Means Rocky Number VI, so beware!
Dot:
If you want the poop
Yakko:
Or ya need the scoop
Yakko and Dot:
On Hollywood Town this week,
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Dot:
"A boffo-smash makes Warner cash"...
Yakko:
Means there's gonna be a sequel next year
Dot:
But "Paramount hurts and they're losing their shirts"...
Yakko:
Means Schwarzenegger's doing King Lear
Dot:
"Oliver Stone does next Home Alone"...
Yakko:
Means he's gettin' paid an arm and a leg.
The budget goes "crunch!"
Dot:
But his name "packs punch"
Yakko:
So they called up the accountants and they're gonna "do lunch"
Dot:
Well, "the ratings smile on the O.J. trial"...
Yakko:
Means a movie of the week to premiere
Dot:
"Universal cuts deal with Mr. Spiel"...
Yakko:
To do a hundred thousand movies a year!
The Warners:
You gotta play it smart
If y'wanna be part
Of the crowd that's hip and chic!
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Yakko and Dot:
Normal talk makes producers walk
You might as well speak Greek
You're gonna have to learn
Wakko:
Or the meeting will adjourn
The Warners:
Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
The Warners:
Bop, doo, bop, doo, bop, doo, bah, dah!

Yakko:
In Hollywood, they have a different language that they speak
It's used by all the folks who went to school for just one week
It's found inside Variety, a magazine they use
Yakko and Dot:
And no one understands it when they read the movie news
Yakko:
Like "Hix makes pix but the flick needs fix"
Means someone made a movie that bombed
"The veeps in charge are now at large"
Means everyone involved is gone
"The plot conflix, no beautiful chix"
So it's comin' out on video soon
"They're takin' their licks 'cause the critics say nix"...
And the editors are gonna try to save it in the mix
Dot:
Well, "the stock sees green" on page 13...
Yakko:
Means Disney's up a nickel a share
Dot:
"Stallone cuts deal for a major reel"...
Yakko:
Means Rocky Number VI, so beware!
If ya want the poop
Dot:
Or you need the scoop
Yakko and Dot:
On Hollywood Town this week,
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Yakko:
"Boffo smash makes Warner cash"
Means there's gonna be a sequel next year
"Paramount hurts and they're losing their shirts
Means Schwarzenegger's doing King Lear
"Oliver Stone does next Home Alone"
Means he's gettin' paid an arm and a leg
The budget goes "crunch", but his name "packs punch"
So they called up the accountants and they're gonna "do lunch"
Dot:
Well, "the ratings smile on the O.J. trial"...
Yakko:
Means a movie of the week to premiere
Dot:
"Universal cuts deal with Mr. Spiel"...
Yakko:
To do a hundred thousand movies a year!
Ya gotta play it smart
If ya wanna be part
Of the crowd that's hip and chic!
The Warners:
You're gonna have to learn to talk that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
Yakko:
Normal talk makes producers walk
You might as well speak Greek
You're gonna have to learn
Wakko:
Or the meeting will adjourn...
The Warners:
Unless, my friend, you learn that Variety speak!
Chorus Girls:
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah,
Bop-a-doo-bop, a-bop-a-doo-bah!
The Warners:
Bop, doo, bop, doo, bop, doo, bah, dah!

Notes

Songs
Animaniacs (1993-1998)
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot
Animaniacs Theme SongThe Monkey SongYakko's WorldSupport the ScoutsThe Acme SongYes, Brothers Warner WeI am the Evil Pirate Captain MelWe Should Run and We Should FleeI Am the Very Model of a Cartoon IndividualYakko's UniverseCome See UsThe Studio ShrinkThe Etiquette SongFlipper ParodyWhat Are We?You Can't Catch UsPiano RagThe Warner's Lot SongThe Candyman's SwellLlama Llama LlamaLet the Anvils Ring (Prologue)Anvilania's National AnthemLet the Anvils RingIn Dear Old AnvilaniaMusical ChairsThis Means War(ners)My Old Anvilanian HomeWar Report FinaleFrere WarnerThe Hills are Quite FullThree Little MaidsFalderalOur First Day of SchoolFrizzy ColaWe'll Clean Your Flue for YouWritin' HooeyCall Dr. YakkoThe EndingWakko's AmericaLincoln's IntroductionLanky and CrankyBe Careful What You EatWe Haven't Got a ClueCamelotEarly in the MorningYou're in Hades NowWhiny Protest Song from the 60sPurgatory, Here We ComeO Silly MioPlanets SongYou'll Never Laugh AloneNice and Chubby BabyAnimaniacs StewWe've Been Mixing Up the ScriptsWe Found This Old ComputerWe're the MusketeersThe King's LullabySam 'N' Ella'sIn the MallThe Senses SongMary Tyler Dot SongVideo RevueThe Goodbye SongRavioli, PepperoniThe Warner Waiter TwoWe Were Sitting Here Before YouLake TiticacaMany Years AgoMean Old ManLots to SeeLittle Drummer WarnersSlippin' on the IceBranimaniacsOld MacDonald Had a FarmCamptown RacesChopsticksI'm CuteThe Crickets and the FroggiesDot's Quiet TimeSchnitzelbankOn the Home Front We're Marching AlongFeelingsBaa Baa Black SheepJohn Jacob Jingleheimer SchmidtJimmy Crack CornOh My Darling, ClementineOld MacDonald Had a Farm (Slackmer)London Bridge Is Falling DownPop Goes The WeaselThis Old ManBaloney and Kids ThemeThe Imagine SongThe Anvil SongBaloney's Goodbye SongDigg'd i' the DarkOh, Lady!Introducing the WarnersBuddy's SongMake a GookieHurtin' Our FeetRompThe Hunk from UpumemaI'm MadSerendipitySuper Strong Warner SiblingsA Quake! A Quake!Variety SpeakTwelve Days Of ChristmasU.N. MeRunning From Our FansThey Want To LaughThe Surprises in LifeAll The Words in the English LanguageThe Presidents SongMultiplicationBurbankWhat Do You Do With Children Like Us Warners?Poison OakWhen I Am AfraidGrumpy ChickenEat All Your OatmealThe Cats of Phantom BoulevardDental AvenueTake a Nap InsteadSnack TimeDough, Some CashDon't Shout at Us, Mr. WebbyHello GoogiBeware the Big Bad WolfGoogily GoopThe Snugglers ThemeThe Angry SongWakko's Two Note SongPanama CanalHello NurseThe Ballad of MagellanAt the Big Wrap Party TonightCutie and the BeastThat's DotBe a PestDeck the HallsNoelIs Wakkoum a Warrior?Just the Same Old HeroineJohn Smith and CompanyIce CreamBars of Gold are ForeverWhen You're Traveling from NantucketYou Can't Sing When I SingObese OrsonNight TravelerBones in the BodyMacadamia NutWe Won't Ever LeaveThe Warner BunchHere Comes AttilaMagic GuysWe're On Our Way to Go See Mr. PlotzYou Gotta Do the SchmoozeThere's Only One of YouVariety Speak (HFNH)Jam-A-LotL.A. DotIt's New Year's EveWe're On Our Way to Go See Mr. Plotz (Version 2)
Pinky and the Brain
Pinky and the Brain ThemeI'm a Little TeapotMy Empty Hollow HeadTelephone RepairmanKing of the WorldPlay Fish With MePinky's Minstrel SongsJohnny Badnote's Song
Slappy Squirrel
Slappy Squirrel ThemeThe Wonderful World of WalnutsBumbie the Dearest DeerThe Little Old Lady (from Pasadena)The SlapperDaniel BooneGoing up the CountryWhat Am I Singing For?Crackers and CheeseWould You Still Cheer?Can You Hear Me?Slappy's PolkaStar-Spangled BannerIt's HalloweenLa donna è mobileFood SongSanta LuciaRide of the ValkyriesSlippin' on the IceHall of FameTake Me Out to the Ball GameSlappy Squirrel Theme (Three Tenors Version)Rocket Rat
Goodfeathers
Goodfeathers ThemeGoodfeathers SongCarlootaScorsese's HeadI Feel FeatheryThere's a Perch For YouScorseseEgg-hatcher, Egg-hatcherIf I Were the GodpigeonCoo Coo QuackSasha, SquitDo You Want Me?Regis PhilbinCoo
Rita and Runt
Rita and Runt ThemeHumans Ain't What They Seem to BeI, CamenbertAt The End Of My ForkLook At Rita!Flat in Gay PareeI Am Definitely RuntRita and RuntDo You Hear The Poodles Bark?Dig DownBitten In The ButtRunt and CamenbertAt the End of the RoadA Place Called HomeAll Wrapped Up in LoveLet's Try For TwoUse Your BrainA Hands On Kinda GalLet's Try For ThreeTogetherMilk Please MamaI'm Nobody's MamaMontereyHappy Bob's Bunny RanchStereotypical ViewBunny BedtimeMiaoFloridaCats Always Get the Short End of the StickI'll Go It AloneCornDizzyFraidy CatIs This My Destiny?The JudgeThere's Nothing Quite Like a CatStill There's Me and You
Other
Hip Hippos ThemeLa BehemothChicken Boo ThemeDavy OmeletteJingle BooIt's Not Pretty Being MeMr. Skullhead Show ThemeKatie Ka-Boom ThemeMindy and the BrainPinky and the CatDottie the SquirrelSister SlappyAnimaniacs Theme Song (Three Tenors Version)Twelve Days Of Christmas (Blue Bird Edition)Hello My LadyPinky and the RalphThe Animaniacs Suite
Pinky and the Brain (1995-1998)
Pinky and the Brain ThemeBrainstemBrain's the LeaderBrain's Rock n' Roll SongCheese Roll CallWe're Gonna Build BrainaniaBrainania AnthemPinky and the Brain Theme (Christmas)Deck the HallsChristmas BalladDon CerebroTo Scheme the Improbable SchemeKing VitaminYeaDrunken SailorYum Yum Doodle Dum DayLo La LiThe Smells of LoudnessPittsburgh's For Mousealopes OnlyI Am the CheesebagThe Mystical Majesty TripAll You Eat Is LunchYo-Yo's SongTake Off Your PantsJust Say Narf! (Short)The Storm Within My HeartA Meticulous Analysis of HistoryThe Pinnacle of WitsCongaBrainDude and PinkasaurPinky Winky and Brainy WainyBrain AcresPretty Fair FairGrow FreeI'm Too HappyPinky SuavoLyrics Are For WeeniesSad BrainHey Drive With MeWhat's Up Puppy Dog?GesundheitBrain's WayWhat a MouseBig DreamsFinsThe Fable of Brainy JackIncredible Product JingleAquatic Mammal MarinesThe Tailor and the MiceThe Friendly Forest CreaturesMake Me the World's LeaderI'm Going to Have to Hurt YouMusical MiceAngstPinky's MemoriesThe Schadenfreude PolkaBrainie the PooThe Wonderful Thing About JaggerThe KingRing Around The PinkyLumberjack CigarettesBrainy CigarettesBrain Doggie MamboPlease Bop Me, BrainPinkheadNice Boat, Candy CaneJust Say Narf!The Really Great DictatorSchmeerskahovenIn RussiaThe Mouse with the Giant HeadHickory Dickory BonkBrain's Tall Tale SongPinky and the Brain Theme (Star Warners)We're Off To See The Has-Been
Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain (1998-1999)
Pinky, Elmyra and the Brain Theme SongTwo of a KindTellechubbies ThemeBe More Like The BrainMercuryFlip-FlopDance of the Sugar Plum FairiesSea FoodBibbidi-Bobbidi-BooThe Icky Mouse ClubThe Circle's ThemeThe HopPinky's Dream HouseRobot Weekend SongChildren of Many LandsYum Yum Doodle Dum DayMousey BalletPigstuckI'm a Pretty GirlLet Me Be Your LeaderLearningPatty AnnJuggling With MeatGristle MeatAnimal Pieces in my StewParty NightBrainoUnderwear Head
Wakko's Wish (1999)
Never Give Up HopeTrain Bringing WakkoI've Got a Ha'PennySo Much for Wakko's Ha'PennyTwinkle, TwinkleNever Give Up Hope (Reprise)The Wishing StarHungarian RhapsodyWagon SledAul' AcmeThe Wishing Star IIThe Wishing Star IIIIf I Could Have My Wish Then I'd Be HappyThe Wishing Star IVOh, Lady!Gotta Get to the Wishing StarHe's Got Two Ha'PenniesNever Give Up Hope (Finale)
Animaniacs (2020-)
Yakko, Wakko, and Dot
Animaniacs Theme SongThe Catch-Up SongReboot ItI'm Gonna Eat'chaSuffragette SongChicken Boo ThemeThe CuteningWakko's America8 MileShakespeare RapRap BattleAnima-NyetWakkov's Territories of Russian FederationBe Like MeNice and Chubby BabyA-ZitFLOTUS, FLOTUS, What Do You Know About Us?I Am the Very Model of an Ancient Roman EmperorWilliam the ConquerorThe Hamburg Tickler SongCategory 5Righty Tighty Lefty LoosieYakko's Big SongMime and MemeThe Magna Carta SongGruelsome ol' GruelYou Have to Sing a Song for Your GruelYakko's Countries of the Early 19th CenturyConceive of YourselfColumbus Sailed the Ocean BlueTuna Fresh GumA Brief History of HistoryIs This Egg Yours?Chicken Boo Theme (Warner's Ark)80's CatsStay With Me, WarnersFlora Dora
Pinky and the Brain
Pinky and the Brain ThemeMinstrel SongBondingLimbs Fall OffWe're the GrogglesOld Monsanto Had A FarmThis Old BrainBop Your HeadPinky Feels Like Falling DownBrownian MotionLakes Are FunPinky's Italy SongSuper SunnyBanana HammockBackwards GaryThe Brainy BunchNarfs ThemeFresh Pinky of BurbankPinky's How To JinglePinky's Narfday SongI Ate a RockFrench Fries for Breakfast
Other
Alien Chorus
Other Outlets
Promotional (1993-)
I'm An AnimaniacCravingPut A Brain In The White HouseThe WB's The PlaceThat's All We GotAnimaniacs Mac & CheeseHalf A Minute WaltzCaptain Planet On Kids' WB!Kids' WB Christmas SongTearing Up The StageAnimaniacs WeekAnimaniacs on The HubAnimaniacs Hub Can-CanLet the Anvils Ring (The Hub Edition)Wakko's Hub LineupFillerFeels Like Hulu
Yakko's World (1994)
Traveling AnimaniacsA Quake! A Quake!Yakko's WorldThe Hello SongLake TiticacaThe Ballad of MagellanSeveral Drops of RainWakko's AmericaU.N. MeYakko's UniverseI'll Take an IslandPanama CanalThere's Only One of You
A Hip-Hopera Christmas (1997)
Jingle BellsDeck the HallsGhost of Christmas PastGhost of Christmas Present
Bubba Bo Bob Brain (1997)
Bubba Bo Bob BrainA Lab Mouse Will Take Over The World
Animaniacs Game Pack (1997)
Animaniacs Game Pack IntroI'm a Swingin' Gal
Miscellaneous
The Geologic ClockDear Mister GingrichSing-Along ThemeBig Cartoonie Show ThemeTake Over The WorldSmaller Than That
Albums
Animaniacs (1993-1998)
AnimaniacsYakko's WorldSong SamplersTwisted TunesVariety PackThe Animaniacs Faboo! CollectionA Hip-Hopera ChristmasThe Animaniacs' Wacky UniverseThe Animaniacs Go Hollywood
Pinky and the Brain (1995-1998)
Bubba Bo Bob Brain
Animaniacs (2020-)
Season One
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