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"William the Conqueror" is a song detailing the Norman Conquest of England led by the titular William the Conqueror, as told by the Bayeux Tapestry. It is performed in the episode "Rug of War" and serves as Yakko's first fully educational song of the Animaniacs 2020 reboot.

Lyrics[]

Yakko Warner:
See, this Tapestry tells the story of William the Conqueror,
the first Norman King of England!
Dot Warner:
*exasperated* Oh, God...
Yakko:
Well, the Normans conquered England in the year 1066
Back when Dentists weren't a thing and everyone had fleas and ticks.
To commemorate the battle and their courage in the fight
The Normans made the Bayeux Tapestry whose tale I'll now recite!
Oh, King Edward, he was this guy! He was Ruler, King and Czar
But the apples from his family tree had fallen pretty far
When he passed away those leeches didn't even wait a day
They all went in for the scepter like a Vegas Night Buffet!
This guy Harold, earl of Sussex, who is rocking this goatee
Put his hand up high and swore, "Edward gave England to me!"
So he had the Archie Bishop go ahead and crown him King
But our hero said no thanks to kissing Harold's stupid ring!
William of Normandy, on France's Shore
Duke since the age of twelve and hungry for more
He made a claim upon the throne flakier than a croissant
So his name would live forever in this fun and nifty font!
Now with Harold the usurper Will was wondering how to cope
Then he noticed Halley's Comet and thought "That looks pretty dope!
It's the Universe commanding me to make all England mine,
so I'll bring some boats and horses and a jug or two of wine!"
Good old Willy had an Army, was at least ten-thousand strong
They marched every day in chainmail more annoying than a thong
Yes, their thighs were really chafing, and their helmets far too tight
Maybe that's why after Hastings they torched everything in sight!
In the middle of the battle, things were going down the drain
Cause the Normans heard a nasty rumor that their Duke was slain
So then Willy took his helmet off to show he was alive
And the rest is TL;DR but the gist is Harold died
Wakko Warner:
Oh, that's sad.
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
William the Conqueror, he stole our hearts
Burned down our houses and our horses and our carts!
With his brothers Bob and Odo he had sailed across the Sea
Sure he killed a lot of people but that's ancient history!
William the Conqueror, he was so neat
When enemies mocked him, he cut off their feet!
He's probably getting tortured down in Hades by some ghoul
But he's related to Elizabeth, that's why we think he's cool
Yakko:
Now that's a crash course in the Tapestry you'll never learn in school!

Trivia[]

  • In the Brazilian Portuguese dub of "Rug of War" on HBO Max LA, the song itself is not dubbed despite the rest of the cartoon being dubbed.

Errors[]

  • Harold Godwinson was not Earl of Sussex, he was Earl of Wessex and Earl of East Anglia.
  • The song somewhat misrepresents William the Conqueror's claim on England. King Edward was William's first cousin, once removed and had promised William that he would inherit the kingdom when he died and that is why William invaded England since he saw Harold Godwinson's crowning as King of England as usurpation of his rightful throne.
  • Whilst not an error necessarily, the song fails to mention King of Norway Harald III (nicknamed "Hardrada")'s involvement in the conflict. He also claimed England as his. He invaded northern England but was defeated and killed at the Battle of Stamford Bridge, all of this happening before William invaded.

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