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"You Gotta Do the Schmooze" is a song from "Hooray for North Hollywood (Part 1)."

Lyrics[]

Dot:
Gee, look at all the people on hold.
Yakko:
Yeah, they're all waiting to schmooze Plotzie.
Wakko:
Schmooze? What's that?
Yakko:
That's how you make deals in Hollywood, Wakko.
You've gotta shoot the breeze, talk the talk...
You know -- schmooze! Like this...
Dot:
Mister Plotz's office... Please hold...
Sid Scheinberg on Line Two!
Yakko:
Sidney, sweetie, baby, you're terrific!
Oh, my other line is ringing; can you hold?
Keanu, man, I flipped,
'Cause I've got the perfect script
And, believe me, you're the only one I've told.
Dot:
Meryl, honey, darling, babe, I love ya!
It's the perfect part; there's no way you can fail.
And that's 'cause you're the best
You are way above the rest
And I understand you used to work for scale.
Dot:
Eisner!
Yakko:
Michael, green light's right at fifty million.
We're talking Costner so we're shopping it around.
You know, the line's around the corner
And they love it out at Warner.
You don't want to be the guy who turned it down.
Yakko and Dot:
You gotta do the schmooze
Or else you'll wind up being yesterday's news
Yakko:
You gotta schmooze 'em while you're talkin' PR
From the phone in your car
Be the guy who says that "I can make you a star!"
Dot:
You gotta learn to schmooze
Tell everyone about your friend Tom Cruise
And say you recommended Cher for a part
You gave DeNiro his start
And on The Simpsons you suggested that they call the kid Bart.
Yakko:
You did the meal; you closed the deal
You made an offer that they couldn't refuse
Yakko and Dot:
And that's the way that you schmooze!
Wakko:
Hey, I think I can do that!
Yakko:
Be my guest!
Dot:
Martin Scorcese on Line Three!
Wakko:
Marty, babe, I've got this script; you'll love it!
It's a story no one else has ever had.
You see, it comes from Hollywood,
It's about a guy who's good,
And he has to fight another guy, who's bad.
Dot:
Tarantino!
Wakko:
Your treatment, man, is absolutely brilliant.
It's got potential and we think it's really hot.
We feel the only thing it needs
Is rewriting all the leads
And we'd like to see you try a different plot.
Dot:
Schwarzenegger!
Wakko:
Arnold, babe, there ain't nobody like you.
That action thing you absolutely own.
But Zemeckis has the clout,
So the backing points are out,
‘Sides, we figure we can always get Stallone.
Arnold:
Stallone? Are you kidding me?
I'll come down there and kill you!
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
You gotta do the schmooze
And you can be a regular lollapalooze
Dot:
Rubbing elbows with that Hollywood bunch
Wakko:
Eating sushi for lunch
Yakko:
Show the ladies your Mercedes down at Spago for brunch!
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
You gotta schmooze or lose
You're on the A-list; you're the person they choose
Dot:
To make a movie that'll beat out the rest
Wakko:
And be dramatically best
Yakko:
Get Antonio Banderas; he can show off his chest!
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
You wanna make it to the top and be the cream of the crop?
You can't lose,
If you learn how to schmooze!
(beep, beep!)
Wakko:
Is that my pager or my cell phone?
Secretary:
Oh, singing Ewoks! Mister Plotz will see you now.
Yakko:
Ready?
Wakko and Dot:
Ready!
Yakko:
All right -- we're on!
Yakko, Wakko and Dot:
This is where we go in, and it's either we win
Or we lose,
Just as long as we schmooze!

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